Sugar We're Goin' Down
by Chloe Winchester
Summary: Dean's out of Hell, he wants to see his wife and daughter more than anything in the world. When he finds them, he finds that they may not need him as much as he thought Spoilers for LR! Sequel to Sucker. Title based on Fall Out Boy song Last one in series
1. Home

--Okay, this one is gonna be a little strange and I don't think it's ever been done before. It's part song-fic part, well, not. Tell me if you like it! And alas this is the last fic I'm doing for this series. All good things must come to an end and all that.

Oh for those of you just tuning in, here's a run through of the entire series, all 12 of them.

**Ritual**

**A Supernatural Fairytale**

**Forget Me Not**

**Worlds of No Fun**

**The True Price of Loving**

**Babies R Winchesters**

**Plague**

**Oogie Boogie Man**

**Ransom**

**Disturbia**

**Sucker**

**Sugar We're Goin' Down **

Have fun Boys and Girls! This one's a song chap!

1

Home:

Daughtry

_I'm staring out into the night. Tryin' to hide the pain._

I've only been out for a few hours, barely a day now and I miss her. God do I miss her. As soon as I found Sam without her I wanted to kill him. How could he let her leave like that?

_I'm goin' to the place where love, and feelin' good don't ever cost a thing. _

I want to see her so bad I can hardly bear it. I remember her eyes, those depthless blue eyes that pierced through me like a knife. Where is she? Where's Caity? And where's Maggie? Is she with Lauren?

Somebody answer my questions please.

Waking up in that coffin was one of the scariest things I've ever been through, and I've seen some scary shit.

_And the pain you feel's a different kinda pain. _

How I pushed myself up and out of that thing I may never know. I remember my throat being as dry as the Sahara in mid summer. I remember the dirt hitting my face and not being able to breath. I remember the surge of relief I felt when my hand struck fresh air. God pulling myself out of that hole was hard. The dirt was packed down from four months of settling, it was like pushing Play-Doh through a needle sized hole.

But right now it didn't matter. Only she mattered.

_Well I'm goin home, to the place where I belong, and where your love has always been enough for me._

The last few minutes he had spent with her were the most excruciating and gut wrenching of my life.

_I'm not running from, no I think you got me all wrong. I don't regret this life I chose for me._

"You found her? Really?" Lauren had asked, 36 hours before the Hellhounds came for me. I nodded.

"We think we did," I said. "But we're goin' out to Bobby's to see if we can get her." She looked at me then, her eyes filled with agony. A signal that her heart was breaking.

_But these places and these faces are getting old. So I'm goin' home._

"You're leaving?" I didn't answer. I stared at the floor. "I'm coming with you." She said. I shook my head.

"No, Lillith knows who you are. If she sees you, or Caity…I don't want to know what she'll do to you." She looked up at me, tears in those perfect eyes.

"You can't leave now, it's, it's too close." She said. I touched her cheek, a tear slipped onto my thumb. "What, what if you, ya know, before I can see you again?"

_The miles are getting longer, it seems, the closer I get to you. _

I didn't know how to answer her. I hugged her. She started to cry, breaking my heart. I hated to hurt her. "Baby I don't want to leave you, but I can't risk that little bitch hurting you." I said.

Lauren swallowed and stared up at me again, her eyes and nose pinked.

"It's not enough time," She said, shaking her head. "It's not enough. I still need you, I love you." She cried. Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes.

_I've not always been the best man or friend for you, but your love remains true. _

I pulled her to me, kissing her trembling lips. Tears trickled down my face, I couldn't help it. I love her so much.

"Promise me something," I said.

_And I don't know why. You always seem to give me another try._

She looked up at me. Wet blotches were spotted on my T-shirt, her hands gripping the long-sleeved shirt over it. My hand was under her chin, cradling her face, she seemed unable to let me go.

_So I'm goin' home. To where the place where I belong, and where your love has always been enough for me._

"Promise me we'll see each other again."

_I'm not running from, no I think you got me all wrong. I don't regret this life I chose for me. _

"I promise," She sobbed. "Dean you can't go." She said, plea in her voice.

"Baby I'm so sorry," I said. "This is all my fault, every bit of pain you've had to go through is all my fault. And I'm so sorry." I couldn't stop these tears for the life of me.

_But these places and these faces are getting old, so I'm goin home. Be careful what you wish for, cause you just might get it all,_

"Dean please," Lauren begged. I think she knew no matter what she said I had to leave, even if doing so made my heart ache so bad I thought it would rip.

_And then some you don't want. Be careful what you wish for, cause you just might get it all. You just might get it all, oh… _

"I love you," I whispered. She nodded and kissed me again.

"I'll always love you." She said. "And no one else." I held her tight.

_Well I'm goin' home, to the place where I belong, and where your love has always been enough for me. _

"I _will_ see you again, and I will always be with you, as stupid as that sounds." I said, adding a small laugh at the end. She didn't return it.

_I'm not running from, no I think you got me all wrong. I don't regret this life I chose for me._

I kissed her again, saving how she felt. Her lips, her soft touch, even the saltiness of the tears on her lips.

_But these places and these faces are getting old._

"Baby I have to leave." I said, regrettably. She gripped me tighter.

"Go kill the bitch," She whispered harshly. "Promise me you'll come home."

"I promise."

_I said these places and these faces are getting old._

"Keep this," I said, handing her my wedding ring. She cried harder.

"I love you so much," She said. I kissed her again.

"Goodbye." I said, she shook her head.

"Don't say that. This isn't goodbye."

"See you later then," I said. She tried to smile.

"See ya,"

_So I'm goin' home. _

Now I'm speeding down the highway, the knowledge of where she was just reaching me. Sam had tracked her phone, surprised that it was still in service. I stared angrily at the iPod jack Sam had put in with hate.

But once again it didn't matter, all that mattered was…

_I'm goin home._

--Did you like it? Tell me I want to know! More soon!--


	2. I Meant What I Said

--Like I said, only some of these are gonna be in songfic format, this is not one of them, as you will soon figure out. Anyway, here's chapter 2!—

2

I look around, making sure the last of them are gone. Jeez, I can't even go do my own laundry without these bastards hanging around. I killed 'em, what else was I going to do, and didn't fire a single shot. My powers were a lot better now, way better.

Demons I still had to exorcise unless they _really _pissed me off, but ghosts were easy. Even though I thought nothing would be easy after…

After that my world had a dark cloud over it. Sun didn't exist; happiness was a thing of the past. Like there was a black haze over everything. Caitlyn mattered, that was it. My own life? No. Anyone else's? Maybe.

I shook my head. This was a "don't talk about" subject, just like her parents and her sister. No one ever talked about him in front of her. That is, is they wanted to live.

Maggie had Caitlyn upstairs. I was in the laundry room under the place, ready to fight with the annoying washers and dryers that always had something wrong with them. I put the basket I had been carrying on the dryer and started to dig in my pocket for the quarters I had stuffed in there.

That's when I heard the whistle. Not like a startled whistle, more of a catcall behind me. I turned and scowled at the two young men staring at me. The one who whistled looked me up and down, waggling his eye brows. The other lit a cigarette.

"Hey pretty lady," Cigarette said. "Whatcha doin' down here all by yourself?" He asked. I ignored him and shoved the money into the machine.

"He asked you a question," Whistle stated. "Now be a good girl and answer." I stared at the two, unimpressed and not intimidated in the least.

"Sorry I don't speak fuck-head," I spat. They approached me quickly, but I had anticipated the move. "Get off me!" I yelled. "I said GET OFF!" I shrieked. I threw out her arms and the two goons went flying into the stone walls. They were disoriented for a moment, then darted out the side entrance.

"Crazy bitch!" They yelled.

"Bastards." I sneered.

"Are you okay?" a voice asked from the stairs. I jumped, unaware there had been another party present.

"Yeah I'll be fine." I said, starting the washer. The figure walked toward me but my eyes remained on the machine. "Look if I kicked their ass what makes you think I won't kick yours?" I said bitterly.

"Because I'm your husband." I froze. The deep voice, how the tone said the words, it just might…  
I turned her head and there he was. He stared at me, just like he used to, his green eyes looking into my soul. My heart broke and soared at the same time. My heart pounded so hard I thought it would explode. I'd had dreams like this, dreams that ended in sleepless night after I woke up, reaching in the dark for an arm that wasn't there.

I couldn't believe this, no I wouldn't believe this. My hopes had been brought up to their full height, then thrown back down into the abyss that I had become, wounded and shattered.

"Hey Baby," He said. I heard a soft tinkling sound as the quarters I had in my hand clattered to the floor. I stared at him in disbelief. This seemed different than my other dreams, this seemed more real. He smiled softly at me, but I didn't go near him, no, not this time. I could barely breathe.

I heard more steps on the stairs and turned quickly. Another figure, tall and skinny, walked into the fluorescent lighting of the small room.

"Sam," I said shortly. "Is, is he really..?" I ventured. Sam nodded. He was staring at me expectedly but I kept my attention on Sam.

"Nice to see you," I said. Sam nodded.

"Nice to see you too." He said.

"If you get the chance to see Caitlyn," I began. "She misses you." Sam nodded. I turned back to him. It almost burned to look at him. He was waiting for me to talk, I knew that, but I had no idea what to say. He turned and glared at his younger brother.

"I'll uh, go." Sam said, backing up toward the stairs. He turned back to me when Sam had gone.

"So," I said. "You're out." His brow cocked.

"You're out? I'm in the pit for four months and all you can say is 'you're out'?" I shrugged.

"What do you want me to say?" I asked.

"How about hi?"

"Hi," I said. He looked confused, his eyes searching mine for…something. He took a step toward me, his hand reaching out to me. I dodged him. He let his hand fall. He looked at me, more confused than ever, and hurt this time.

"Things can't automatically go back to the way they were." I said softly. I looked at the floor, it hurt too much to look at him.

"What are you talking about?" He said.

"I meant what I said."

"Why not?"

"Because."

"That's not a reason." I didn't reply. He took another step forward. "Lauren."

"Stop." I tried to move away from him, but he grabbed my arm.

"Baby."

"Dean." I said his name like it was a forgotten memory. I hadn't said it in four months. I hadn't even thought it.

"Lauren."

"Stop it." He was staring directly into my eyes, his grip firm but not harsh. His eyes, god they were killing me. They always did. He wanted me to touch him back, wanted me to hold him, but I couldn't after all this time…there was no way.

"Baby please." He said, my heart aching.

"What?" I said, tearing my arm out of his grip. "What you think after all of this, after all that happened it can go right back to being the same in an instant? Are you kidding me?" He said nothing. "Yeah you're back from Hell, how was it I hear the weather's lovely." My words surprised me. How cold they were, how heartless. But I wasn't having this all happen to me again, for his sake and my own.

"I don't remember anything." He mumbled. I let out a short, rueful laugh.

"Well I do. I saw all of it!" I yelled. "Every second you were in that God awful place I got a play by play. Night after night, vision after vision. I saw all of it."

He stared at me in shock.

"Lauren, I didn't know." He whispered.

"Do you have any idea what it's like to wait for hours and hours, just to see the one you love more than anything in the entire world get torn to shreds by a Hellhound? Oh and let's not forget there's nothing you can do about it." I scoffed.

"Baby I-"

"How about getting a phone call from your hysterical baby brother telling me what happened. How horrible he felt that he couldn't save you? Crying so hard you think you might puke? And then, sitting in that hotel room, feeling my heart shatter into a billion pieces.

"Then there's our daughter. Looking at her and seeing you, more painful than anything you could imagine. I drank sure, but _nearly_ as much as I wanted to. So, I killed. I went and slaughtered everything evil I could get my hands on. But no matter how hard I tried, that hole didn't fill." I was crying, despite how hard I had tried to hold them back they fell. My tone never faltered, it stayed as hard and cold as it had been since I started.

Dean hadn't said a word. Tears pooled in his own eyes, which were turning red around the rims, his hands gripping the leg of his jeans.

"So you know what I did Dean? I built big thick steel walls around my heart and vowed to never let them fall. And you being here doesn't change that!" I shoved him. He said nothing, but winced.

"I moved on! I lived without you for this long and I don't need you now! I don't need you! I don't love you!" I pushed him again. His jaw flexed, his gaze unfaltering from me. "I don't love you anymore!" One more shove. My breath was heavy, the tears stopped. "So just leave, and don't try and find me again."

I turned on my heel and stalked upstairs, wincing when I heard a soft sobbing behind me. I opened and closed the laundry room door and flounced to my room.

And I meant what I said.

--Oo harsh, tell me if you liked it!--


	3. Bleeding Heart

--Alright boys and girls here's this weeks spout of chapters, enjoy.--

3

I think my heart is bleeding. It's been ripped in half, it has to be bleeding. Oh god, my chest hurts, it hurts so much. My hand's over the bleeding heart now, gripping the fabric of my shirt. I leaned against the washer to hold myself up.

I don't understand what I did. Why she acted that way.

God not touching her was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I could barely get close to her without her backing away from me.

What happened to her? The sky blue eyes had turned to ice, cold, hard, arctic ice. Even when I touched her arm she felt distant and rigid.

What happened to the woman I love.

I think I'm crying, yeah I'm definitely crying, which actually come to think of it, really pisses me off. I've had a really weird and shitty past two days. An Angel pulled my ass out of Hell and told me God has work for me last night.

God my heart, it hurts. I can still see her screaming at me. Telling me she doesn't love me.

I opened my eyes and looked around. How I ended up on the floor, I don't know. I'm down on my knees, crying so hard my chest hurt, hand over my heart. Every time it beats against my aching ribcage it bleeds a little more. Tears stream down my face, even though I try as hard as I could to make them stop. She hated me, I could see that now. Because of the deal I made for my soul I wouldn't touch her or see my daughter again. I just can't believe she could say that, or be so heartless. The Lauren I knew would never do anything to hurt me, but I guess the Lauren I knew was gone now.

I didn't even get to say goodbye. Can she at least give me that?

She didn't have her wedding ring on, or mine. She shoved me out of her life completely, threw me to the side to ease the pain a little. Then I show up and drop this bombshell on her. I was selfish, but god did I want to see her. To feel her. The gentle graze of her lips, the silken feel of her skin against mine. The real Lauren, my girl, is still in there, I hope.

Why won't these god damn tears stop?! Oh Lauren baby why did you do that to me? You may not need me but I need you. You may not love me, but I love you with every cell in my body. I need you so much.

Suddenly I heard footsteps on the stairs and I stood up, or tried to. Furiously I wiped the beads of salt water from my eyes and lean against the washer again.

"Dean what the hell just happened?" Sam asked. I glared up at him, though my anger wasn't directed at him. Sam walked off of the concrete landing at the bottom of the stairs and came toward me.

"I don't really know Sammy," I said. "She just…"

"What happened?" Sam repeated.

"She screamed in my face that she didn't love me anymore and stalked out." Sam's eyes grew.

"You're kidding me right?"

"Sam I wish I was." I said softly.

"Well, go get her!" Sam yelled.

"Sam it's not that easy," I said. "I can't make her love me."

"Well you can't just give up."

"Why the hell are you so hellbent on this?" I asked.

"Because about two years ago I made you a promise that you would not let this woman walk away from you." Sam said firmly.

"What the hell am I supposed to say? 'Sorry I'm not gonna take no for an answer?' that's a little creepy Sammy." I said.

"Look, Dean, you can't just let her walk away." Sam said softly.

"I don't know what to do, I don't even know what to say." I admitted.

"The pair of clothes you have on is the only pair you have left. I got rid of all of your old stuff but I think she might have some."

"And why would she?" I asked. Sam sighed.

"Because she loves you."

"Sammy you didn't hear what she said, you didn't see the look in her eyes. They were...they were like ice. Like the coldest ice you've ever seen or thought about. And the way she talked to me...Sammy there's no way she still has feelings for me." I whispered.

"Look," Sam said sternly. "I know she still has feelings for you, after all of the things you've been through together, your relationship can survive four months away from each other."

I furrowed my brows. "You're one to talk Mr. Hypocrite, look at you and Maggie!"

"That's different." Sam defended quickly.

"How?"

"Be, because...look I'm not the one we're talking about here, you are."

"I'll make you a deal, I'll try and make up with Lauren_," Though I know there's no point_. I added silently. "And you make up with Maggie."

"Dean it's not that easy." Sam said. Dean smirked. Sam looked at the ground. "Okay, you made your point."

"I wasn't trying to make a point," I said, my smirk fading. "I was being serious Sam. You love Maggie just as much as I love Lauren...don't you?" Sam didn't look at me.

"Yes, I do." He mumbled.

"And does she still love you?" I asked. Sam nodded. "Then what's the problem? What happened between you guys." Sam's eyes were still trained on the floor.

"It's a long story." He muttered.

"Look, do what I said. If you don't at least _try _to make up with Maggie I won't go near Lauren." I said.

"Dean this is not a game." Sam said.

"I know."

"Then why are you using that facade?"

"Because I don't wanna look like a puss in fornt of my little brother," I said shortly. "Now go do as I say, alright?" I said firmly. Sam shook his head and rolled his eyes, but he wasn't really mad. I sighed. He disappeared at the top of the stairs and I heard the door close. I didn't know then that Sam and Maggie had already talked.

--Did you like? Yes, no? Tell me so!! : ) --


	4. It's Not Over

--Yeah I know, another Daughtry song? I like the music and don't worry, they aren't all Daughtry if you don't like the band.--

4

It's Not Over

Daughtry

_Well I was blown away, what can I say? It all seemed to make sense._

I had just put Caitlyn to bed when I saw the Impala pull in. I thought it had to be some weird delusion of mine or something. Then I saw the license plate. KAZ 2Y5, it hadn't changed.

Sam had left a few months ago. We didn't get the formal break up like most couples do, he just kinda bolted on me. One day I woke up and…nada. He was just gone. Didn't return my calls until a month later.

_You've taken away everything and I can't live without. I tried to see the good in life, but good things in life are hard to find. _

"Sam where the hell have been?" I had yelled into the receiver. "Do you have any idea how worried I've been. I've been searching the whole damn country for you!'

"Well you don't need to." He had said shortly.

"Sam what's going on? Why did you leave like that?"

"Maggie stop looking for me."

"Why?"

"Because I don't want you to find me."

_We're blowin' away, blowin' away. Can we make this somethin' good?_

I was silent for a moment. I didn't know how to take what he said. It hurt. Bad. Why would Sam, my Sammy, do something like this to me? What did I do?

After what happened with Dean he had been different.

Right after it happened he was a wreck. He couldn't stop crying, not even long enough to make a coherent word.

_Well I'll try to do it right this time around. _

Then he'd changed. He got angry, still quiet but always angry. He was distant and hard, a bottle of whiskey ever present in his hand. I was going to talk to him they day he took off, but…

"Sam what do you mean?"

"I mean what I said. Stop looking for me Maggie. I'm fine."

"Sam if you were fine you'd be here with me."

"I can't be with you anymore." Another gut wrenching twist of my heart.

_It's not over, I'll try to do it right this time around. It's not over, cause a part of me is standing in the ground._

"If that's how you feel, fine." I said, forcing the tears in my eyes to not travel to my voice.

"Goodbye Maggie." He said after a long moment of silence.

"Goodbye Sam."

And that was it. I hadn't seen him since then, and now he was pulling up in the parking lot.

I turned and closed the door to the motel room.

The familiar creak of the doors reached my ears and I watched Sam get out. He waved slightly at me, not meeting my eyes.

_This love is killing me, but you're the only one. It's not over._

The passenger side door opened and my knees buckled. My jaw dropped as I watched Dean step out. Living, breathing, and not in Hell.

"Dean?" I said softly. He shut the car door and grinned at me.

"Ya miss me Maggs?"

I ran as fast as I could to him and hugged him. I had known Dean for almost two years now, he was like a brother.

"Are you kidding?" I said. Dean chuckled lightly and I let go. "How..?" I asked. He shook his head.

"It's a really long story."

Sam was standing off to the side, trying to look at something else.

_I've taken all I can take, and I cannot wait, we're wastin' too much time. _

"Where's Lauren?" Dean asked. The light in his eyes, the hopefulness in them, I couldn't tell him what had happened to her. I couldn't tell him she hadn't smiled, laughed, or listened to a lick of music in four months so I pointed to the laundry room door.

_Being strong, holding on, can't let it bring us down._

Once Dean was gone Sam and I stood in silence. I didn't realize until now how much I had really missed him. His smile, his laugh, his eyes, I realized now how much I really did miss him.

He looked up at me and my heart skipped a beat. I didn't show it though, I refused to.

_My life with you means everything, so I won't give up that easily._

"Hey Maggie." He said.

"Sam." I said. Another awkward pause followed. "So when did Dean get out?" I asked.

"Yesterday. Took us a while to find Lauren. I didn't know you were gonna be here."

"Somebody has to watch out for her and your niece don't they?" I said defensively.

_I'll blow it away, blow it away. Can we make this something good? Cause it's all misunderstood. Well I'll try to do it right this time around._

"I'm sorry." Sam said. My brows rose.

_It's not over._

"You are?" I asked. Sam nodded.

"Yes, I am. And I missed you." He said. I glared at him.

"You walked out on me and you missed _me_?" I yelled.

_I'll try to do it right this time around._

He said nothing. I shook my head. "Sam why did you leave?" I asked softly. "Do you know how scared I was, how worried I was that something had happened to you?"

"Maggie I'm sorry." Oh, he cheated.

_It's not over, cause a part of me is standing in the ground._

Freakin' Puppy Dog eyes. How the hell is that fair?

_This love is killin' me but you're the only one, it's not over. _

"I went to try anything and everything I could to get Dean back. I didn't want you to get hurt in the crossfire." He paused. I let him. "But it was stupid. I didn't realize until later how much I really do need you."

_You can't let this get away. Let it out, let it out, don't get caught up in yourself. _

"I missed you too Sam, more than you probably know." When he had moved this close to me I don't know, but he was.

_Let it out. Let's start over. I'll try to do it right this time around._

"You know I'm sorry, don't you?" He said quietly.

_It's not over, cause a part of me is standing in the ground. This love is killing me but you're the only one. It's not over._

God he was close. I stared up at him, his brown eyes gazing into mine.

_Let's start over. It's not over._

Then he kissed me.

_This love is killing me…_

Feelings rushed back. All the love I had felt for him came flooding through me. Lightning seemed to erupt from our lips in an instant.

The door to the laundry room burst open, Lauren stormed up the stairs. Her face and eyes were red, a neon sign that read vacancy/no vacancy sparked and went out in the dim evening light.

We broke apart almost instantly.

_But you're the only one._

He looked at me and nodded.

"I'll get him, you get her?" He said. I nodded. He looked at me again and squeezed my hand. He may have been being an asshole but I couldn't stay angry at him. In that instant I knew.

_It's not over._


	5. Always Be My Baby

--See I told ya. I know Mariah Carey originally did the song but I thought Mr. Cook's fit better! Hope you like!!--

5

Always Be My Baby

David Cook

I wasn't going to let her go. Not without one hell of a fight. There is no way my Baby can leave me.

_We were as one babe, for a moment in time._

For like, the first time in my life I decided to listen to my brother. I have no idea how this is going to turn out but I can't turn away from here and say I didn't try, she means too much to me.

_And it seemed everlasting, that you always be mine._

I took a deep breath and knocked, a part of me cringing at what would happen next. Maybe she'd slam the door in my face without letting me talk, maybe she'd hit me, not that I would blame her for doing it. Or maybe, just maybe she'd tell me that she really did love me. Maybe…

_Now you wanna be free, so I'm letting you fly. Cause you know in your heart babe, our love will never die no._

The door opened and she scowled at me. I heard her put a glass bottle down, though I know she sure as hell wasn't drunk. It took a lot to get Lauren hammered. She stared at me, eyes as cold and hard as they had been when I had saw her less than two hours ago.

"Did Hell make you go deaf or something?"

_You'll always be a part of me._

I shook my head. "Sam got rid of all my clothes. Any chance you have any of em?" She stared at me for a second, then turned and went into the motel room. She didn't shut the door behind her so I followed her in.

_I'm part of you indefinitely._

She tore open the bottom dresser drawer and started fishing around, unaware that I was staring at the bottle of Daniel's on the desk next to the door.

She was grabbing shirts and jeans that I recognized and piling them up onto the floor. There wasn't much, but it was enough.

_Girl don't you know you can't escape me. Ooh darlin' cause you'll always be my baby._

She stood up and shoved the pile of clothes in my hands.

"Now why are you really here?" She asked bitterly. I still couldn't understand how this woman was my wife. I turned and set the clothes down on the desk behind me and faced her.

"I want to talk to you." I said. She sighed and her glare intensified. "You got to scream and bitch at me, now it's my turn." She seemed taken aback at what I said, but at least I had her attention.

_And we'll linger on. Time can't erase a feelin' this strong._

"How?" I said. She stared back at me. "Is what we had something you can just forget about?" She said nothing, her icy gaze piercing me. "Lauren, did you forget?"

_No way you're ever gonna shake me._

I stepped closer to her, and this time she didn't back away. I think she was trying to prove something to me. "The first time we kissed. Remember that?" she said nothing still, didn't even blink. "The first time I told you I loved you?" Still nothing.

_Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby._

"The first time we made love." I got a reaction this time. She winced and stepped back. I walked forward, however. This was one fight I could fight for years. "How I used to hold you. How I used to tell you how much you meant to me every single day. How I said that I loved you more than air?"

_I ain't gonna cry no, and I won't beg you to stay._

"You said 'hold me?' I said 'always.' You said 'love me?' I said 'forever'. And damn it Lauren I meant it! Every time I said I would love you forever I wasn't kidding. What we have was not pretend. It wasn't some fling that was over in a month. I know how you felt about me and I know how I feel about you and this is not the end, it can't be."

_If you're determined to leave girl, I will not stand in your way._

Her stony face had been chipped, ever so slightly, but it had been.

"I'm sorry Dean," She said, backing away again.

_But inevitably, you'll be back again. Cause you know in your heart babe. Our love will never end no._

"But this is the end for us. You got what you wanted now go." She was too far away again.

If she only knew how bad this hurt right now. Maybe at least this time she'll tell me goodbye.

_You'll always be a part of me, I'm part of you indefinitely. Girl don't you know you can't escape me. Ooh darlin' cause you'll always be my baby._

It's the last shot I have, I have to take it. If I don't she'll be gone forever.

_And we'll linger on, time can't erase a feelin' this strong. No way you're ever gonna shake me. Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby._

"Lauren," I said taking a step toward her. "Can I ask you something?"

_I know that you'll be back girl, when your days and your nights get a little bit colder, oh. _

Her eyes, so cold. The lack of light that was in them scared me. They were dulled from happiness but bright with something else I couldn't figure out.

_I know that you'll be right back girl. Oh baby believe me it's only a matter of time. _

"What?" She asked. I looked at the floor, then at her again. I took a step forward, she was only inches in front of me now.

"Can I at least get a goodbye?"

_You'll always be a part of me,_

She furrowed her brows. "Goodbye." She said shortly. She turned around, walking away again. I didn't let her. I grabbed her arm and spun her back around.

_I'm part of you indefinitely. _

I pulled her close, closer than she had been this whole time.

_Girl don't you know you can't escape me._

"I mean a real goodbye." I kissed her. She fought against me, her body tense but I held her fast.

_Ooh darlin' cause you'll always be my baby._

The ice broke. The hardness she had built around her seemed to tumble and disappear. I let go of her arm but she wrapped her arms around me, touching my neck, my face, almost like she was making sure this was all real.

_You will always be. Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby. We will linger on…_

She pulled my face as close to hers as it could get, her lips pressed tight against mine. Her hand was in my hair running her fingers through it. I held her close to me, finally feeling what I had wanted to since I got out. Lauren, My Girl, My Baby. The love was still there, Sam was right. I could feel it. Sam was right.

_Always be my baby._

_--_Awwww...Did you like it? Tell me!--


	6. Revealations

--What's gonna happen now? Why don't we watch and find out...--

6

His lips were on mine. So soft, everything. The way his skin felt, the longing in his entire body as I touched him, how he smelled, everything was just as I remembered. I couldn't have done this anymore. I couldn't look him in the face and say those things again. Especially now.

God he was so warm, his arms wrapped around me, just like they used to.

I don't know when I started crying, I just know when our lips broke apart there were tears rolling down my cheeks.

"I'm so sorry," I choked. "Dean I'm so sorry."

"Shh," Dean said, pulling me to his chest. "It's alright-"

"No! No it's not. I shouldn't have said those things. I didn't mean it." My face was buried in his shirt, hugging him as tightly as I could. I couldn't let him go, not this time, or maybe never again.

"Why did you say them?" He asked quietly.

"B-because when you died…so did I. Living without you was too hard, so I tried to forget about you."

"Did you really se everything that happened in Hell?" He whispered. Another pang of recognition and pain stabbed at my heart. I cried harder and nodded, digging my face deeper into his chest.

I remembered that what I saw when Dean first got there and the last vision I had of him being there were completely different. It had changed from a place with translucent walls, crashing thunder and intense flashes of lightning reined supreme amongst the many black chains that ran from side to side, holding Dean in place with shackles and hooks, to a red fiery prison.

Screaming, nothing but screaming and agony. Whatever was hurting you remained invisible. And every single second was full of the most excruciating pain you could ever imagine. Think of the worst possible thing you can imagine being done to you and amplify it by a hundred.

I had to watch every torture session, hear every scream, feel every wound that happened to him.

"Dean I saw every second." I whispered. He held me closer. I looked up at him, hurt when I saw tears in his face. "I'm so sorry." I repeated. He kissed me again. I don't know what I missed about him most, but his overflowing passion that emitted from every pore in his body and into my lips was at the top of the list.

"Baby you don't have to be." He said through tears.

"Yes, I do," I said shakily. "I-I felt how much of what I said to you hurt, and how bad it did. I broke your heart."

"It's not your fault Baby." He said. "That Deal, everything could have been avoided. Sam dying, everything if I would have went into that diner instead of him."

"Don't you dare blame yourself for that!" My face was in his shirt again, arms around his neck. "You had no way to know any of that was going to happen. How were you supposed to predict that Jake was going to murder Sam huh?" I cried harder.

Dean cradled the back of my head in his hand, running his fingers through my hair, at a loss for what to say. I kissed him, touching the soft skin on his neck.

_Can you even remember the last time you held him Lauren?_ I thought. He pushed the side of his face against mine, his breath on my neck.

I brought my hands around and ran them over his chest. He sighed and pressed his lips on mine again. I ran my hand up his arms, grazing his skin. I held onto his bicep as he kissed me deeper, his hand on my back. My hand slid up, just a little and I felt something. I didn't know what. It felt like a scar. My hand moved up even more and I felt more of the scar.

Suddenly Dean hissed and jumped back. I looked up at him, worried.

"Dean what is that?" I asked quietly. His other hand was clasped over his left shoulder. He let it go and shook his head.

"It's nothing." He said. I took a step forward and grabbed the sleeve of his shirt, pulling it up. I gasped. The scar I had felt was a hand print. He glanced up at me apologetically. I gently touched it. It felt hot and inflamed, and it looked like it hurt.

"Baby what is that?" I asked.

"How I got out." Dean said. "Lauren I didn't climb out of Hell or get out by myself. I was pulled out."

"Great," I sighed. "What evil son of a bitch pulled you out?" Dean chuckled.

"Lauren you aren't gonna believe this." He said. "But I wasn't pulled out by anything evil."

"Then what did? Sam?" I asked. Dean shook his head.

"An angel." He said it as if he were skeptical to the whole idea, even though it really did happen.

"An…an angel? They're real?" He nodded.

"Apparently."

"Oh thank god…well literally."

"His name's Castiel." He told me what had happened in the last 24 hours. About dragging himself out of the coffin, finding Bobby and Sam. Chasing something they thought was a demon and only finding out it was an angel of God. Castiel told him he took him out of Hell because God commanded it. God had work for him.

"That's really all I know." He said softly, his eyes trained on the floor.

I understood why. Dean had no reason to believe there was a God. After all of the bad things he had been forced to witness, all he's had to lose, it all pointed to nothing but evil, no light in the darkness. "Look," He said, taking a step forward. "I don't want to talk about this right now." His hand pushed my hair behind my ear and rested on my cheek.

I looked at him, really looked at him. Dark circles curved under his eyes. His shoulders drooped ever so slightly, a sign that the usual weight of the world he carried had gotten a little heavier.

He was different. The differences were small but I noticed. He was quieter. A little more edgy, and less of a smartass. He seemed a little lost, like he wasn't sure what to do next. Or what the hell kind of work God could have for him. He was scared of what had happened recently. I noticed that despite the fact that he couldn't remember anything, Hell had taken its toll on him.

"I just want to be with you." He said. I hugged him again. "Wait a second. Where's Caity?" He asked. I turned my head and looked at the play pen on the other side of the room where my, our, daughter was sleeping. I couldn't believe she had stayed asleep this entire time.

Dean smiled and slowly let me go. He walked over to her.

"Hey baby girl." Dean said. Caitlyn stirred. "You remember me?" Caitlyn sat up, silent. Dean bent down and picked her up. She looked at me, then at Dean, and back.

_What the hell Mommy?_ Her look said. I shrugged. She stared at Dean again.

"You have no idea who I am do you?" Dean said. Caitlyn did nothing. Dean sighed. "C'mon Caity. It's Daddy, remember. I know that was awhile ago but you gotta try. Remember Daddy?"

Slowly, very slowly, a grin crept across her face. She looked at Dean and giggled. "Da!" She squealed. Dean smiled and hugged her.

"My baby remembers me." He whispered, a different kind of tears in his eyes. I smiled.

I only had one problem now, Sam.

--What could that mean? You'll have to wait til next week to find out!--


	7. Pain

--The next 2 chaps are in songfic format! Tell me if you like!--

7

Pain

Three Days Grace

_Pain, without love. Pain, I can't get enough. Pain, I like it rough cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all._

I was outside, breathing in the night air. Maggie and I hadn't spoken to each other since earlier today. I was glad Dean and Lauren were back together, or at least getting along.

I don't know where Maggie and I should pick up. I mean, should we go right where we left off, or start over? Some things had happened since she and I had split up, some things Maggie didn't know about…and he hoped she never would.

_You're sick, of feeling numb…_

"Sam," A voice behind me said. I turned. Lauren was standing a few feet away from me, a sweater wrapped around her shoulders.

"Lauren," I said. "It's been awhile."

"Yeah," She said. "Four months."

"Is there something you wanted to talk to me about?" I asked. She cast me a stern look.

_You're not, the only one._

"I think you know what I want to talk about." She said firmly. I looked at her, severely confused.

"Lauren what are you talking about?" I asked. She took a step forward.

"You lied to your brother for one." She said. My heart sped. She can't know, there's no way she can know.

_I'll take you by the hand and I'll show you a world that you can understand._

"I still have no idea what the hell you're talking about." I lied. Her brow cocked.

"Sam I'm just a psychic as you are, only I know better than to lie to people that care about me and I care about them too." She said in a harsh whisper.

Shit, she knows.

_This life is filled with hurt. When happiness, doesn't work. Trust me, and take my hand. When the lights go out, you'll understand._

"How did you know?" I asked softly. She rolled her eyes. "Right." I said, realizing my blunder.

"Sam why did you lie to him?" She asked. I looked at the ground.

"I didn't…I told him before he died that I wouldn't try and use my powers. If I would had told him he would have been pissed."

_Pain, without love. Pain, can't get enough. Pain, I like it rough…_

"And what do you think he'll do when he finds out that not only _did _you use your powers and still use them but you lied to him when he asked you about it." She spat. My eyes were still trained on the ground. How could she understand what's happening to me? She has no idea what it feels like to have demon blood pushing its way through you and no matter how hard you try it won't go away. I'm a freak, plain and simple. I haven't told Dean because I know how he'll react. And I know how he'll look at me.

_Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all._

"I don't know. You aren't gonna tell him are you?" I asked, dreading her answer.

"No," She said. "I'm not." I sighed, relieved. "But I know that eventually, you will. I still can't believe you would do this."

"Hang on a minute damn it!" I yelled. She held a finger to her lips. "How is me using my powers and you using yours any different?" I asked defensively.

_Anger and agony, are better, than misery…_

"Because I didn't get my powers from some yellow eyed son of a bitch that's why." She said. My brows came together.

"You, you didn't?" He asked.

"Look Sam just because you and I are the same age doesn't mean we both got our powers from Azazel."

_Trust me, I've got a plan. When the lights go off, you'll understand._

"Then where the hell did you get them?" I asked. Lauren and I had never discussed Yellow Eyes before. She knew my story, Dean had told her what happened the night Mom died, but I had never known hers.

_Pain, without love._

"When I was about three, there was an accident. Some poltergeists had found their way into our house and was knocking some shit around. They got violent when my parents tried to get rid of it. I was standing under this shelf that had some of my Dad's heavy duty weapons, ya know, one of those ones that hang way up on the wall so the kids can't get 'em? Long story short the shelf fell and everything hit me in the head. When I woke up I was in the emergency room with about twenty stitches in my head."

_Can't get enough. Pain, I like it rough cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all. _

"The next morning I got a really bad headache and saw my Mom get blown to smithereens." She said. "The rest, well the rest kinda happened on its own."

"So how do you know they were given to you?" I asked.

"Because somebody came and told me. I thought it was a dream for the longest time. But after what Dean told me, I knew it was true." She paused for a moment. Then looked up at me. "Sam I just want you to be careful."

"Be careful of what?"

_Rather feel pain! I know, I know, I know…_

"Sam despite what _Ruby _has told you, you don't know what you're dealing with. This could turn into something out of your hands. You could become something you don't want to be."

Anger flared in my stomach and rose to my face. My fists clenched.

"I would _never_ turn into anything evil." I said. "There is no way. Besides, how do I know what you told me was the truth? You could be lying to me."

_I know that you're wounded. You know, you know, you know…_

"Sam!" She yelled, offended and pissed. "How, how dare you say such a thing to me. Have I ever given you a reason not to trust me?" She asked.

"I don't know." I said. "But if we're gonna go around poking fingers-"

_That I'm here to save you. You know, you know, you know…_

"I'm not pointing a finger Sam." She interrupted. I folded my arms over my chest.

"Then what the hell are you saying?" I asked bitterly. She dropped her arms from around her own chest and clenched her fists. Her eyes changed. pupils dilated, the tiniest hint of red I had seen before appear.

_I'm always here for you. I know, I know, I know…_

Suddenly I felt weird. My stomach flipped over, like that feeling you get in an elevator, and I felt my feet leave the ground. I couldn't move, and I was being lifted into the air.

_That you'll thank me later. Pain, without love. Pain, I can't get enough. Pain, I like it rough cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all…_

Lauren walked forward and I moved backward. I felt my back gradually touch the motel wall and she stopped.

"Sam I'm saying that if you _do_ keep messing with this stuff something terrible is bound to come out of it. This is just a wake up call. I won't stand by and watch you do something stupid and everyone else has to suffer the consequences."

Slowly she lowered me back to the ground.

_Pain! Without love. Pain, I can't get enough. Pain, I like it rough cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing..._

"I've told you before Sam, you're like my own little brother. I don't want anything bad to happen to you. I won't say a word to your brother and he'll probably be pissed at me about it. But I know he'll either find out or you'll tell him, and you better damn well hope it's option number two. Oh, and I won't tell Maggie about you and Ruby." She turned and walked back into her and Dean's motel room.

I stood and watched where she had been standing. I was pissed that she had done that and about what she had said, but I was even more pissed that she was right.

_Rather feel pain!_

_--_See, nothing to worry about. And you guys thought Sam and Lauren had done something naughty. Shame on you LOL JK : ) Feedback please!--


	8. In the Arms of the Angel

--Have fun kiddies!--

8

In the Arms of the Angel

Sarah McLachlan

_Spend all your time waiting, for that second chance._

I fell asleep a few hours ago, holding Lauren. Now I wish I had never closed my eyes.

The same red light I had seen just after I had gotten out of hell and in the gas station was all around me. Flashes of white light. Screams, constantly. One in particular is blaring in my ears, my own. Everything burns, slowly it gets worse and worse. It's all over me. I can't get away from it, please get me away from this!

_For a break that'll make it okay. There's always some reason,_

I can't move, I can't breathe. My body burns so much. I can't see the person hurting me, I don't even know what is hurting me. The agony is so intense I can't believe it hasn't killed me yet.

_to feel not good enough. And it's hard at the end of the day._

Then I remember there is no death, there is no end. There is no hope. "HELP ME!" I screamed. The unseen assailant laughs, loud and harsh, it hurts my ears. "SAM! LAUREN!" The agony intensifies, which I didn't think was possible.

_I need some distraction. Oh, Beautiful release._

Wordless, pain and blood-soaked screams fall over my lips. I can't escape this, no matter how hard I try to think that maybe, just maybe, this is all a dream, I know it's a lie. God! Oh God my body burns. Whatever this is seeps all the way to my bones and spreads throughout my entire body. Every, single, inch of me.

_Memories seep from my veins. I may be empty,_

"NO PLEASE! NUAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Another blood curdling scream of pure and utter agony jolts through me and builds, and builds, and builds. My body is going to burst I just know it. There is no way out, there is no way out, there is no way out…

_And weightless, and maybe I'll find some peace tonight._

My breath is labored and quick, sweat covered my body, seeping in to open wounds that never healed. The laughter is so loud, and so painful…I can feel blood start to trickle out of my ears.

"PLEASE STOP I'M BEGGING YOU, PLEASE! NO, NNNOOOOO!"

_In the arms of the angel, far away from here._

"Dean!"

My name, isn't it? Is that my name?

"Dean baby it's alright, wake up!" Baby, who called me baby?

_From this dark cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you feel._

"LAUREN!" I scream. If I scream maybe she'll hear me.

"Shh, Dean it's okay. I'm here, just wake up okay.

_You are pulled from the wreckage, of your silent reverie._

Wake up? I'm dreaming? This is a…

My eyes open, there she is, sitting over me, worry in her eyes.

_You're in the arms of the angel. May you find some comfort here._

I sit up and wrap my arms around her, pulling her tight. I realized I was crying then, though I really wasn't sure why. I was drenched in a cold sweat, shivering slightly.

"Hell," I sobbed. "It-it was Hell." She held me close and ran her fingers through my hair.

"Shh, I know baby. It's over now."

_So tired of the straight life and everywhere you turn, there's vultures and thieves at your back. _

"I c-can't g-go back th-there," I cried, burying my face deeper into her neck. "I w-won't."

"Sh, shh, sh,shhhh," She soothed, pushing me back so I faced her. "You aren't going back, ever." I wasn't sure if I believed her. This Castiel guy might be lying to me. And I don't know if my contract is null-in-void yet or not. She kissed me gently.

_Storms keep on twisting, you keep on building the lies. That make up for all that you lack. It don't make no difference…_

"Don't tell Sam." I whispered, my face up against hers. My breath was heavy and deep. I was more shaken up than anything. I'll admit it, what I had just seen scared the hell out of me.

"I won't baby." She promised. She held me close, the same hunger in her arms that she had had earlier embracing me.

"Did you see that?" I asked, voice shaky. She nodded.

"Yes, I saw it the first time it happened too." She said. I hugged her tighter.

_Escape one last time. It's easier to believe. In this sweet madness._

"I'm so sorry Baby," I whispered. "I put you through that…I'm so sorry."

"I know you are Dean. But it's not your fault. You had to save Sam, there was nothing else you could do."

"I hurt you, and that was something I never wanted to do for as long as I lived." I choked. We were silent for a long time. The flashes of what I had remembered jumped in front of my eyes. "It, it was so awful." I admitted.

_Oh, this glorious sadness. That brings me to my knees._

"You aren't there anymore Dean." She said softly, kissing my temple. "You're here with me."

_In the arms of the angel, far away from here._

"No one's gonna take you away from me again." She breathed. I breathed in her skin, feeling her hair tickle my cheek.

_From this dark cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you feel._

I thought I would never touch her again, never feel her lips, hold her, anything again. Her hand moved to my bare back. Pulling me closer.

_You are pulled from the wreckage, of your silent reverie._

"I'll never leave you again." I whispered. I let go of her and placed my hand on her cheek. She leaned into it and closed her eyes.

"I know." She whispered.

_You're in the arms of the angel. May you find some comfort here._

"I mean it." I said, looking into her eyes. I gently ran my thumb over her lips. She leaned forward and kissed me. I kissed her back, our lips parting and joining back together several times. She tenderly started kissing my neck. I ran my fingers through her hair. I sighed and hugged her as close as she could get. She pulled away and looked at me.

"I need to tell you something." She whispered. "I-" I placed my finger on her lips.

"Not tonight." I said softly. I laid down, pulling her with me.

_You're in the arms of the angel. May you find some comfort here._

--Aww, more later this week! Tell me if you liked this one!--


	9. All A Dream

--Don't worry, Sammy stuff next week!--

10

I woke up to a dark room. I was sure that this time, it wasn't a dream. I was sure that I would reach across the bed and be able to feel him. I was so sure.

But when I did, all I felt was air. Empty, meaningless, lonely air that I was too used to grabbing.

Tears instantly formed in my eyes. I had dreamed it all. The fight with him and Sam, kissing him, holding him, touching him, making love, it was all imagined. Caitlyn was asleep in her crib, unaware that my heart was breaking all over again.

I buried my face in my pillow, letting the tears come. Everything that had happened was an utter lie. I could still smell him, I could still feel him. It was like four months ago all over again.

_Not again!_ I thought helplessly. _Please, no! God please don't take him again! I can't…I can't do it again. _My body was wracked with sobs, I kept myself as quiet as possible so I wouldn't wake the baby, or make Maggie come over here to try and talk to me again.

I heard a creak behind me, a creak of the door. I could tell it was opening slowly, like someone was trying to get in without waking me. I silenced myself instantly. My Hunter instincts kicked in and I reached under the pillow for the .38 and gripped it tightly in my hand, turning off the safety off. I heard the door close and I turned around as quickly as I could, aiming it at the intruder.

"Hey, hey, hey," The person said, holding up their hands. "Calm down baby it's me." I lowered the gun and dropped it on the nightstand. I nearly leaped off the bed and wrapped my arms around him. He held me, I could feel the confusion that worked its way onto his face. "Baby what's wrong?" He asked. I started crying again. "Baby," He said, gripping me tighter. "Baby what's the matter?"

I couldn't say it, I didn't want to admit it. I felt stupid for thinking it wasn't real, and I felt relieved that it was. "Tell me." He said.

"I-I woke up and…you weren't here." I admitted. "I was scared th-that…" I trailed off and he walked over to the bed, taking me with him. He hugged me to his chest and ran his fingers through my hair.

"Shh, I'm not going anywhere Lauren." I gripped the fabric of his T-shirt in my hands. I listened to his heart beat steadily in his chest. A sound I thought I'd never hear again.

I had to tell him now. I learned from when he left that secrets couldn't exist with us.

"I have to tell you something." I said. He looked down at me, curiosity in his brilliant green eyes. "You told me about Castiel, the angel that dragged you out of hell." I said. I could swear he almost shuddered, and nodded. "I've met him." I whispered.

His eyes grew and he stared at me. "When?" He asked.

"When I was three."

"What did he want?" He asked slowly.

"To tell me that I had a job to do. That's where I got my powers from."

"God?" He whispered. I nodded.

"How come you never said anything?" He asked. I shrugged.

"I thought it was a dream for the longest time. But he kept coming and talking to me. He's kind of an asshole." I said. Was it wrong to say that about an angel? He nodded.

"Yeah I noticed." He said. "Is that all?" He asked. I shook my head.

"I have to show you something." I said. "But not in here." He nodded and I grasped his hand, pulling him out into the brisk dawn.

"What is it?" He asked. I took both of his hands in mine.

"Be very still... close your eyes." I whispered. I pulled him to me and closed my eyes. I focused hard, very hard. My breath was deep and slow. I felt the energy build, then I felt it happen. I waited for a moment. "Okay, open your eyes Dean." I whispered.

"Holy shit." Dean breathed. I opened my eyes as well. We were about six feet off the ground, absolutely nothing underneath us. I looked at him and smiled.

His eyes were huge and he was staring at me in awe. "H-how are you doing this?" He asked.

"I don't really know." I said. "I was walking one day, then I wasn't walking on anything. Cool huh?" He grinned broadly.

"That's an understatement." He said. "Baby you can fly." I grinned. He wrapped his arms around my waist. I kissed him, then pulled back and grinned more broadly.

"I've always wanted to do that." I said. Dean was looking from me, to the ground, and back, a smile firmly planted on his face.

"What else can you do?" He asked. I felt my bare feet touch the ground.

"There's just one more." I whispered. The wind blew and I shivered. The small pair of shorts and thin tank top I had on were no match for the cold wind. "Not here okay?"

I dragged him into the hotel room, closing the door quietly behind me.

"That bad huh?" He said with a smirk. I shook my head and pushed him down on the bed. He sat there looking at me, a smirk I was all to familiar with playing on his lips, his dimples that drove me crazy deep in his features.

"It's nothing like that." I said. "Hold still okay?" I said.

I thought for a moment as I sat next to him and gently placed my hand on his forehead. There were so many to choose from, which should I pick?

Then it dawned on me, it was so simple. I knew he would remember it. I took a deep breath and focused as hard as I could.

We were in a different room now, and I had the same sensation that I always had when I did this.

I remembered this place. Very, very well.

"Look, Lauren, I can't tell you this." Dean was saying. He was angry, but that anger only covered up how hurt he really was. He had got out of the hospital yesterday. The scare of him dying had just reached my ears about twenty minutes ago. The scar on his forehead was faint, but it still scared me. We were at Bobby's, the disassembled Impala out back. Sam and Bobby had made up excuses to get out of the house, and right now I was really pissed off that he hadn't told me what happened before.

"Dean, please. Just tell me what's wrong." I asked. He looked at the floor. "There's so much I don't understand. I mean I know the car crashed after Yellow Eyes possessed your dad, you were beat up pretty bad. You got to the hospital and almost died. According to Sam you were in critical condition and probably wouldn't wake up. Then all of the sudden you were fine. Nobody will tell me anything after that."

His eyes were hard on the floor, determined not to look at me. I walked over and lifted his chin. He looked at me, and I could see the sadness in his eyes, but damn it I didn't know why. I kept my eyes locked with his. I was ready to ask the question I had been dying to.

"Dean, what happened to your Dad?" I asked. Suddenly Dean jerked away from me. I had struck a chord. His eyes were wet, his jaw flexed, his fists clenched. "Dean?" I urged.

"He's dead." He said bluntly. I gasped. I took a step toward him, he backed away.

"How?" I asked, voice shaky.

"I don't know." He said bitterly. "Doctors said it was his heart."

I knew what John meant to Dean. He was everything to him. He gave Dean's life meaning, though I don't know why he thought he didn't have any in the first place, he only wanted his approval his entire life, and now John was gone. I knew he was crushed, why he was hiding this from me was a mystery, at the time.

"Dean." I said, walking toward him again. He didn't back away this time, but he wouldn't look at me. "Baby I'm so sorry." I said.

"You didn't do anything. It happens right?" He mumbled. His tone was almost sardonic. I touched his arm. He had been working on the car when I got here, so the tips of my fingers were smudged with grease.

"Don't talk like that." I said. He pulled away again. Before he could turn away from me I grabbed his arm and spun him back around again. "Dean please," I said, plea in my voice. "Talk to me. I know this had to hurt you, let it out. You can't stay angry like this." I said. He lowered his eyes again. I saw the lavender color of his lids, the dark brown circles under his eyes. He hadn't slept at all since this had happened.

"I don't know what else to do Lauren." He admitted. "I feel…lost. And like I'm missing something, like there was something I should know about when he died."

"Did he say anything before he died?" I asked. Dean looked at me. I could tell when the tears formed in his eyes and the white turned red there was no hope of the water staying at bay. He wiped his eyes furiously, but it was no use. I hugged him.

"Hey, shh, it's alright." I felt my heart ache. Whatever I had said had set him off. "Dean we don't have to talk about this." He nodded and pulled away from me.

"Good, I really don't want to." He said. There was no trace that the tears had even been there. Dean's emotions were like a light switch, on, off, in seconds. "What should we talk about?"

--I PROMISE the Sammy girls out there the wait will be worth it okay? Unfortunately that won't be until next week. But for now feedback is welcomed!--


	10. What I Want

--Darksupernatural, this is for you and every other Sammy girl like you!--

10

What I Want

Daughtry

_It always seemed that I was sorry for the things that I did. But never did I thing about it 'til I let you in._

I was a little rattled by what Lauren had said about an hour ago. But, she was right. I didn't want to brood over this anymore. I didn't want to think about how I told Ruby earlier that we were done with the sexual part of our relationship. She said she understood.

But right now I wished I could talk to someone. Someone who would listen and not lecture me for anything.

I nearly slapped myself. The person I was looking for was right next door.

_It's kinda funny about the time that I was fallin' apart, you came and put me back together now._

I didn't expect her to answer when I knocked. Maggie is usually a dead sleeper. Surprisingly though she came to the door.

"Sam?" She said, obviously surprised to see me. "What's wrong?" She asked. She stepped aside, signaling for me to come in. I shook my head as I did so.

"There's nothing wrong Maggie," I said. "I…I just wanted to talk to you." She nodded and sat down on the bed. I sat beside her.

"What did you want to talk about?" She asked.

"Us." I whispered. Her cheeks pinked lightly, so did mine.

"So are we gonna do the whole, you call me, I call you bit or what?" She asked, her tone sharper than I anticipated.

'_Cause what I want, and what I need…_

"I don't want that." I said, shaking my head. She stared at me.

"Can I tell you something?" She said, I nodded. "I can't stop thinking about you. For three months I tried, cause I never thought you were coming back and it almost worked."

"What screwed it up?" I asked. She looked at her hands.

"You came back." She said. "And when I saw again…I knew I still loved you, more than anything." She was looking down almost out of shame, like she had told some big secret she should have taken to the grave. She didn't think I felt the same way.

_Has now become the same thing you've been offering._

I lifted her chin and gazed into her chestnut eyes. "I never stopped loving you either." I said softly.

She jumped, literally almost jumped, on me, her arms wrapped around my neck, her lips firmly planted on mine.

_As days go by. I've finally become what you want me to be._

My hands were on her back, then tangled in her hair. I started to lay down and she followed me, yanking off the first layer of shirt that I had on. I knew what she wanted, and I was willing to give it to her. I wanted her. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else in the world besides right here, right now.

_I still remember all the stupid things that I've said and done._

Our clothes were off in seconds, I hadn't even realized that I had been taking hers off. This seemed like a dream to me, something not real, and could never be real. But it was. I could feel it, I could see it. I could smell her perfume. My heart was pounding in my chest.

_But still you stuck around with me when all your friend's said "Run!" givin me a name I found myself inside all the flames_

She was over me, looking into my eyes. I wrapped my hands around her waist and rolled over. I kissed her neck, she gripped my hair. I pulled back from her and looked at her. She nodded.

_Becoming everything for you again is what I want, and what I need. Has now become the same thing you've been offering. As days go by…_

I thrust my hips forward, feeling a shock of electricity jolt through me. Goosebumps traveled up her body and she dug her nails into my back. I grabbed her thigh and lifted it next to my hip. Friction built, I started to sweat, so did she. Our lips were tangled together like links in a chain, no matter how hard we tried to pull away, it seemed impossible.

_I've finally become what you want me to be._

I moved faster causing her to groan and inhale sharply. She clawed my back again.

"Ahn!" I cried, voice almost lathered in pleasure. I could taste the salt of her sweat on her lips. Our tongues twisted and turned in our mouths.

Suddenly she grabbed me; the next thing I knew I hit the sheets, with her over me.

_Don't tell me you saw it all along. God help me, I never knew I belonged._

She started to rock back and forth, the anxiety trying to burst from my stomach. I couldn't remember where I was, what my name was, or if I was still on Earth. My heart pounded faster. I could feel it coming. Her breath came in short bursts and she started kissing me again.

_Guess I was wrong!_

She shuddered and groaned. I did the same thing only a second later. Our breathing was heavy and deep, sweat trickling over each other. She slid off of me and laid down next to me.

_What I want, and what I need, has now become the same thing you've been offering._

I put my hand on her face and pulled her to mine, kissing her gently. She smiled at me.

"I missed you so much." She whispered. I pulled her close to me.

"You have no idea how much I missed you Maggs." I whispered.

_As days go by. I've finally become what you want me to be. And what I need_

I was starting to cool off. I held her close, feeling more at ease than I had in the past four months. Her head was resting on my chest, her eyes closed, breathing deep. I smiled and ran my fingers through her hair.

_Has now become the same thing you've been offering. You've taken me_

I realized how much I had missed her, and how I never wanted to leave her again. I also realized she deserved to know. Not about my powers, but about Ruby.

_And shaped me to become what you want me to be._

--Did I deliver? Tell me! I'd LOVE to know! (Dean girls, you get yours next ; ) )--


	11. How Do I Live

--Hopefully this song rings a bell. Dean girls, have fun ; ) --

11

How Do I Live:

Trisha Yearwood

_How Do I, Get through one night without you?_

"What do you want to talk about?" He asked. I shook my head.

"I don't know. You said you needed to talk to me about something. Then I brought up the hospital thing. What did you want to say?" Dean walked away from me, keeping his eyes down. I looked around the spare bedroom we were in, trying to see what he was looking at.

"We need to talk." He muttered. My heart sank. Those were the four worst words in the English language. "About us." I'd been with Dean for about a month now, and I was crazy about him.

_If I had to live without you, what kind of life would that be?_

His smile, his laugh, his eyes, his sense of humor (no matter how twisted it was) all of it. I'd never felt this way about anyone before. And surprisingly enough we hadn't…ya know, done it. Which was weird for me, and according to Sam about a billion times weirder for Dean. But hearing those words I realized I couldn't imagine not being with him. Not hearing that deep, velvet voice every day or peering into those glowing green eyes was unbearable. I loved him.

_Oh and I, I need you in my arms need you to hold. _

"What do you mean?" I asked, fearing his answer. He turned to me, a look of determination in his eyes. I hated that look. It meant that he was dead set on what he was going to do, and by how dark and grim his words had been, this wasn't a good thing.

"Lauren, we…we can't be together." He said. My heart sped, my palms sweated. My mind raced for something to say. All I got out was:

"Why?"

_You're my world my heart my soul. If you ever leave…_

"You and I both know it won't work. Why are we kidding ourselves?" He asked harshly. I took a step toward him.

"Because we can. Just because we're hunters doesn't mean we can't have something-"

"Yes it does!" He yelled. "Yes it does. My parents have been taken away from me, my brother's been pretty close more than once! We _don't_ get happiness." I touched his arm. He pulled away.

"Why not?" I asked. "Dean, we aren't everybody else. Most hunters are alone and-"

"And for good reason!" He yelled. "Those things we kill will not hesitate to hurt either of us to get to the other!"

_Baby you would take away everything good in my life_.

"Will you let me talk?!" I yelled. "Dean we don't have to be alone. We're a lot different that the other hunters I've seen." I paused for a moment, expecting him to say something. He didn't, I continued. "I don't want to be without you Dean, no matter how dangerous it is. I need you." I whispered the last part of my statement. He looked at me. His brows were in a line.

"Lauren, I can't give you a real life," He said slowly. "I can't give you money, or a house, or anything even remotely normal. You need to find someone that can. I'm not good for you." He said.

_Without you, there'd be no sun in my sky._

I grabbed his arm again, making sure this time not to let him pull away from me. I looked into his eyes. "Dean I don't want money. I don't want some house in the suburbs and you work at a bank or something. I don't want normal." I touched his cheek. "All I want is you." He looked away from me for a moment, then met my gaze again.

"No, you don't"

_There would be no love in my life._

"What do you mean no I don't?" I asked.

"Lauren, I'm not somebody you wanna take home to Mom. I have way too much sex, not here lately but…I have so many issues the world's greatest shrink would runaway from me screaming. I'm not, good, for, you."

"What part about I don't care don't you get?" I asked. "And as far as the bad guys getting to us through each other? We'll just have to watch each other's back's when we think that might happen."

"Lauren we don't know when it will happen!" He said. "Besides, I've already almost been killed by someone that wanted to get to you!" My eyes grew. I stepped away from him, dropping his arm as if it had burned me.

"What?" I asked. I paused for a moment. "Are you, are you saying what happened with Lindsay was my fault?"

_There'd be no world left for me._

Instantly Dean stepped forward, apology in his eyes. "No, Lauren. I didn't mean that. I didn't mean you…Lauren I'm sorry." He grabbed my arm. His words had hurt me. "I swear I, I just…" I realized he was shaking.

"Dean, you're shaking." I whispered. He let me go.

"Lauren, I think I love you. No I know I love you. That's why we can't…"

"I love you too." I said. I could hardly believe he had said it. Something was wrong with him, not because of what he said but, it was like something was built up inside him, like he was about to lose it. "Dean why are you..?"

_And I, baby I don't know what I would do._

Dean put his hand on his temples, I could almost feel the frustration emitting from him. "Lauren I just, I just need…you." I wrapped my arms around him in a second, holding him tight. He felt so tense, so bottled up. "I don't want you to go Baby. Ever. But, I don't feel good enough for you. And I'm not."

"Dean, stop it." I said. Dean nodded. "I love you, and unless you kill me, I won't go anywhere." Dean let me go and he sat down on the bed. His face was in his hands, his elbows rested on his knees.

"I don't know what the hell we should do."

_I'd be lost if I lost you._

I stepped over to him, grabbing his hands in mine.

"Dean," I wasn't sure how I would get these words out, but I had to. If it was what he wanted, then I'd have no choice. "If you want me gone, just say it. I'll leave." He looked up at me, his eyes suddenly horrified.

"No," He said, shaking his head. "Lauren please don't go." He said. "I know it may not be the smartest thing to do but…God I don't freakin' know!"

_If you ever leave,_

"Dean, what do you want me to do?" I asked. We were both at such a loss right now. He stood at that point, pulling me to him. His nose grazed my cheek.

"Love me," He whispered. "Love me please." The longing, the pain in his voice, it made my heart ache. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. God his muscles were so tight they were rigid.

"Dean, baby, relax." My words didn't really seem to do anything. He felt hard, like rock. "Dean, let go." I didn't mean of me, he seemed to understand what I was trying to say though.

_Baby you would take away everything real in my life._

It was like a levee broke. I could swear Dean literally melted in my arms. His stiff arms turned gentle. His lips gave off such a fiery passion it burned. One arm was wrapped around my waist, lifting me off the ground. His other hand was tangled in my hair. He gently kissed my neck, nearly being cautious.

_And tell me now, how do I live without you? I want to know._

His skin felt so amazing, especially once his shirt was lying on the floor. My heart sped so fast, it wasn't even funny. God he felt so warm.

_How do I breathe without you? If you ever go? How do I ever, ever survive?_

I didn't even realize my shirt was gone until he tenderly grazed his fingers down my chest. I felt goosebumps rise up my body. I ran my hand up his arm and onto his neck. His lips, so lush and full, I never wanted to be away from those lips, not ever. I stepped back and lightly pushed him onto the bed.

_How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?_

He wrapped his arms around my waist and softly kissed my stomach. I closed my eyes and bent down to kiss him again. It was like a magnet was welding us together. He ran his lips over my cheek, back up to the hollow behind my ear. He slipped back and rested his face beside mine for a moment. His long lashes tickled, I tried not to giggle. His eyes, they pierced me, right to my soul, showing me in an instant how much hunger, and love he harbored within him. Pure, true love.

_If you ever leave, baby you would take away everything, need you with me._

There was no way this was real. This was like some gushy movie fairytale. Like Dirty Dancing. Well the man in front of me may not be Johnny Castle, but it was pretty damn close.

The sun was setting, and god did he look good in the twilight. I was actually surprised I could think straight. He laid down and I leaned over him grazing my fingertips over his chest, softly kissing his neck.

He growled. I kid you not boys and girls, he growled. I felt myself shiver. He was still trembling underneath my fingers. My head was buzzing, I couldn't breathe. I could barely fathom the passion pouring from every cell in his body.

_Baby cause you know that you're everything good in my life. And tell me now. _

He sat up suddenly wrapping his arms around my waist and rolled me over. My head hit the pillow. I shut my eyes as his lips touched my stomach, working their way over my chest, up my neck and onto my lips again. I gripped the sheets when he started to rock back and forth.

My heart was thudding so loud in my chest I _knew_ he could hear it. If he did he didn't do anything about it.

_How do I live without you? I want to know. _

It was getting hot, well, hotter. I tried my best not to scream in pleasure, but with little success.

"Uhuh," He moaned, thrusting his hips forward at a more rapid pace. His hands were twisted in my hair, his perfect lips pressed against mine. His skin was like silk, warm, soft, silk. He started kissing my neck again. My hands were clenched around his shoulders, unable to stop myself from squeezing tighter and tighter as the sensation grew.

_How do I breathe without you? If you ever go._

Then it was over, far too soon. I wanted this feeling of being this close to him to last forever. He stared at me for a moment, his fingers delicately going from my temple down to my chin. He rolled over and pulled me to his chest. I felt his heart beat under my ear.

"Lauren," Dean whispered, tracing his fingers over my lips. I looked up at him. The irresistible emerald orbs that looked back at me made me feel like I might turn into a puddle.

My fingers traced his face, grazing his skin as carefully as possible. He shut his eyes and smiled softly. "Never leave." He breathed. I shook my head.

"I won't." I promised. He smiled again. His breath turned deep in a moment. Dean had finally gone to sleep after I don't know how many hours of being awake. I could see how truly tired he was. And in sleep, I could see how much the weight of the world had been pressed on him. His head slid sideways, his cheek resting on the top of mine. I sighed, breathing in the sweet smell of his skin. If only moments like this could last forever.

_How do I ever, ever survive? How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?_

I blinked a few times and I was back in the Motel room with Dean, two years later. Dean's eyes were still closed, His hands clenched into fists. I slowly removed my hand from his head. He opened his eyes and looked at me. In an instant his vast arms engulfed me, and those sweet, alluring lips that I had grown so used to were tangled within my own. He pulled away from me a few moments later, though I _really_ didn't want him to.

"I think that is the best superpower I have ever seen." He sighed. I grinned.

"Better than flying?" I asked. He moved his face mere centimeters from my own and once again I couldn't breathe.

"Oh yeah." He whispered, a small smirk threatening to break through on his lips. God sometimes he could be so…well Dean! It was maddening. But then, I guess that's why I love him.

_How do I live? Without you baby? Ooh, how do I live?_

--Did you like? Push that gorgeous purple button and let me know!!--


	12. A Better Place To Be

--Howdy boys and girls! My week has been hell so far but hopefully it doesn't show in my writing! Enjoy!!--

12

I had to talk to Maggie. I knew that last night. But now, as I walk away from the Motel office after telling the owner I'd be staying in the room next to it instead, I knew I had to tell her as soon as I got back. Telling her I'd had sex with a demon- a couple times none the less- was a big deal. It might even be enough for her to tell me to get the hell away from her and never come back. But I had to tell her. She had a right to know.

Telling her about my powers would come later. Or I might end up spilling my guts out when I was telling her about Ruby, you never know how a situation's going to go.

I realized how correct I was in my statement when I walked back into Maggie and my room, seeing Lauren talking to Maggie, Caitlyn sucking contently on a bottle in her arms. All three looked at me when I entered the room.

"Did everything go alright?" Maggie asked. I nodded. "Did a cat get your tongue on the way here?" She giggled. Lauren smiled.

"No," I said with a small smile that didn't reach my eyes. "I, uh, needed to talk to you." I mumbled. Maggie looked at me expectantly. "Um, alone?" I clarified, glancing at Lauren and the baby. Maggie's brow cocked.

"Oh don't worry about me," Lauren said, waving her free hand. "I already saw this conversation. No matter what you say I already know everything." Maggie nodded and smiled at me. I stifled a groan. I kept forgetting I wasn't the only psychic in the room.

"Okay," I said. I sat down next to Maggie on the bed and looked at her. "There was something I didn't tell you earlier. Something you should probably know. And if, after I tell you this, you don't want to be with me anymore I totally understand." I said in a rush. Maggie's brows were raised. I sighed. I really didn't want to tell her this. I wish there was some way I could tell her without saying anything. But Lauren was the potential mind reader here, not me.

"While we were, not together I started talking to Ruby again." Maggie's brows creased. "And we…well became a little more than friends." I muttered. Her brow cocked.

"What kind of friends were you? Are we talking best friends or friends with benefits?" She said. Lauren snorted and tried to cover it up as a cough.

"Wait," I said. "Where's Dean?" I asked. That was the last thing I needed. To have Dean know I slept with the demon that had refused to help save him from Lilith. That and they completely hated each other.

"Calm down Mr. Paranoid he went to get some breakfast." Lauren said, laughing. I could swear Caitlyn was smirking at me, a smirk I disliked and had seen many times in my life, just not from her.

"Okay," I sighed. "Friends with benefits Maggs." Her brows reached her hairline. I expected her face to get red, I expected her to scream at me and tell me to get the hell away from her and never come back, I didn't expect her to start laughing like this. Her and Lauren both.

"It's okay Sammy," She gasped between her hysterics. I was severely confused. "I forgive you." Lauren stopped laughing and cocked her brow a Maggie.

"Oh no you don't Margaret May," Lauren said. "You tell this poor boy what you did last summer." Maggie stopped laughing and bit her lip.

"So I've slept with a couple demons too, who hasn't?" She asked. Lauren glared at her.

"Uh, every normal hunter out there." She said pointedly. I felt myself flush. Just one more thing to make me not normal. Maggie shrugged. "And most of 'em who have, have maybe only slept with one, maybe two at the most." My eyes were huge as I stared at her. Her face was red, a sheepish smile on her face.

"So it was four, big whoop. Wait three demons! The last one doesn't count." Maggie defended. Lauren put her hand on her hip.

"A vampire counts Maggie." My jaw dropped and I stared at her, out of horror and shock. And I was worried about how she would take the news about Ruby.

I wasn't mad at her, I mean, turnabout's fair play right? But, wow.

"Sorry Sammy." Maggie said quietly. Her smile had faded and she was staring at her hands and glancing at me. Lauren stood.

"I have to, uh, go to the bathroom." She said. She turned and walked into the bathroom, Caitlyn in her arms, and shut the door. I heard the sink turn on to drown us out.

"I, uh…well you know how it is when people break up. They do stupid stuff. Personally I started sleeping with things I know you would hate the most. And I'm sorry. It was only in those first two months." She mumbled. I sighed. "I'm so sorry Sammy." She said. I lifted her chin, gazing into her dark brown eyes. I understood, and though I was far from happy about it, I had to forgive her. She was the only person in the world I couldn't stay angry at no matter how hard I tried.

"It's alright Maggie," I said. "We'll get past it. We always do. And it's not like we cheated on each other," Maggie nodded. "I love you. You know that right?" I asked. She nodded again.

"I love you too Sam," She said softly. I kissed her gently, my fingers braiding into her hair. I pulled away from her. She grimaced.

"Something wrong?" I asked.

"You know how they say whoever your partner's slept with you have too?" She said. I nodded, grimacing myself. "That means me and Ruby did it. Ew." She said I laughed.

"Are you guys done?" Lauren yelled.

"You can come out now Lauren." Maggie called. Lauren opened the door and resumed her sop in the armchair she had been in.

"So you gonna tell her about the powers too?" She asked. The blood left my face and I gasped.

"What powers?"

"Hey guys I got the dough-" Dean said, shoving the door open, a white square box in his hands. He looked at Lauren's "oops" face, Maggie's shocked expression, and my pale face. Caitlyn giggled at the awkward silence. "Nuts. Did I miss anything important?" He asked. I gave Lauren a pleading look. She sighed and looked up at Dean.

"Nope." She said. I don't think Dean believed her, but he set the box down on the table and lifted Caitlyn out of Lauren's arms.

"Here Babe, let's give Mommy a break." He said. He took the bottle and the burp rag from her.

It was the weirdest thing I had ever seen, watching my big brother feed a baby that looked like the woman in front of me, but acted just like him, a burp rag draped across his shoulder, smiling and talking in baby talk.

_If Dad could see him now,_ I thought. _He'd have _another_ heart attack._

I looked at my niece. She could either kill us all, or save us. But from what was my question. Maybe she was what was supposed to stop me. Maybe I _am_ this dreaded apocalypse that keeps popping up all over the place. I don't really know. But if it comes to where my Baby niece has to stop me from killing everybody, I hope she does. Better me than her.

I looked at the people around me, smiling, happy, for the first time in I don't know how long. Dean still looked weary from his trip downstairs, but the world that rested on his shoulders looked a little lighter. Right now I didn't want to worry about the possibility of what I'll become. Or that when I did tell Maggie and Dean what I could do they'd freak out. Right now I was with my big brother, who was finally back from Hell, my sister in law, my niece, and the woman I loved. I dare you to find a better place to be.

--More next week! We're almost done kiddies...Feedback time!!--


	13. Wanted Dead or Alive

--Hey guys! Hope you like this one, and the song choice ; ) FYI this is not the last chapter!--

13

Wanted Dead Or Alive:

Bon Jovi

**16 years later…**

_It's all the same. Only the names will change. _

I walked down the dark street, looking around for the people that would soon be my victims. And considering the hell I was about to unleash, I knew they would be out here.

_Everyday, it seems we're wastin' away._

I had been told since I was very young that I was supposed to be the "savior of the world" but…I didn't really see it that way. The street lights blew out as I passed them, stalking down the middle of the street, my heels clicking against the asphalt. I saw the series of oncoming manholes in front of me and grinned.

_Another place, where the faces are so cold. I drive all night just to get back home._

I focused my mind on the manholes, my grin turning broader when the lids started to rumble. As soon as I walked past it, it exploded. Fire shot up in the air in a column. The heat swirled my light brown hair up on one side. People were coming outside now. I saw them leave their safe little homes, looking astounded when they saw me and the tornadoes of fire billowing every time I passed a manhole.

_I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride._

I saw a car parked on the side of the street and threw my arm in the air, tossing the car like a toy into the air. A few people screamed when it landed with a satisfying crunch on the pavement.

_I'm wanted, dead or alive._

Everyone was out of their house now, mouths a gape. Their minds unable to comprehend what was happening. I knew my eyes had changed stark white, I knew some of them might understand they were dying today. I threw another minivan and sent it flying into a suburban down the street. I smiled as a woman shrieked. Then the running started. They ran in all directions, heading for the end of the street that the awful fiend wasn't at. But I knew what these pathetic things were trying to do.

_Wanted, dead or alive._

A wall of fire erupted at the end of the street, blocking them from getting away. I laughed when they screamed in fury and fear. They turned and gawked at me, but the show was just getting started. Time to bring in my secret weapons.

_Sometimes I sleep, sometimes it's not for days._

I grinned maliciously. They were just gonna love this part. I snapped my fingers and instantly felt the ground beneath my feet start to rumble. It stopped after a few moments, and dead silence followed. The people stopped, I stopped. Only the crackling and roar of the fires could be heard. Then I felt them walk beside me. Snarling, growling and barking viciously at them.

_The people I meet, always go their separate ways._

I looked down at the great black beasts next to me, and at the startled people down the street. The dogs walked with me as I continued at them. I stopped halfway down the street, dead center in the road. I glanced at the dogs again, my grin grew.

"Sick 'em. Don't kill." They took off down the road, lunging and snapping at these people. They screamed and darted in all directions, but these beings were no match for my monsters.

_Sometimes you tell the day by the bottle that you drink, _

The bodies fell one by one, I laughed. This was an easy battle, then again, when you have as much power as I do, every one is. The fire crackled in its spiraling columns out of their manholes, the dogs howled at the icy January full moon. There were no bodies left now, they all were lying on the ground.

_Sometimes when you're alone, all you do is think._

The dogs were on the last fighter, and slowly the black faded from the man's eyes. The dogs foaming mouth snapped at his face until the black cloud disappeared into the air with the rest of them in a large cloud. I scrunched my face up and held up my hand, pulling the cloud toward the ground where the dogs had leapt out of.

_Cause I'm a cowboy,_

I shoved the entire cloud into the smoldering, jagged crevice and watched it disappear into, well, you know where. I looked around at the bodies around me, watching rhythmic patterns of breathing come from each one. I sighed and looked at the Hellhounds.

_On a steel horse I ride._

"C'mere boys!" I said, kneeling down and spreading my arms. The black beasts looked back at me, still rabid and growling. "C'mon!" They barked and licked their jowls, their expressions changing from mean to sweet in seconds, panting and wagging their massive tails.

_I'm wanted (wanted) dead or alive._

They ran at me, knocking me over once they had reached me, their tongues licking all over my face.

"Alright, down boys, down!" I said, laughing and pushing them back. "Yes, you're a good boy. You did such a good job," I said in a baby talk voice. "Yes you did. Yes you did!"

_Wanted (wanted) dead or alive. Oh I ride!_

"Caitlyn Mary Winchester!!" I winced. I was in BIG trouble now. The fire at the end of the street and in the manholes receded into the ground. The holes closed, and I stood up, the dogs still licking my hands. I turned and the Impala rumbled to a stop about ten feet in front of me. I swallowed.

_And I walk these streets,_

The doors opened with squeaky hinges and closed. A red Ferrari parked close behind it. I smacked at the dogs to stop messing with me but they wouldn't let up.

"Caitlyn, what the hell did you do?" I smiled sheepishly.

"Hi Daddy." I said. Dad folded his arms over his chest, jaw set. And I knew it was bad this time, Dad called me Caitlyn. Mom was standing next to him, frowning at me, her hand on her hip.

_A loaded six string on my back._

"What the hell did we say for you _not _to do?" Dad asked. I looked at the ground.

"Go and get rid of the demon community by myself." I mumbled.

"Damn straight and then you go off and do this alone, you coulda been killed! We were worried sick and will you please get those huge sons a bitches out of here!" He bellowed. I looked down at the dogs.

"Get outta here." I whispered. The dogs turned toward the empty part of the street and disappeared. I never knew where the hell they went, and I didn't really care, especially right now.

_I play for keeps. Cause I might not make it back._

The Ferrari doors opened and Uncle Sam and Aunt Maggie stepped out, followed by my cousins.

"You, I don't even know what to say!" Mom yelled. "What on Earth were you thinking? I oughta beat you blue Caitlyn!"

"Hey, hey calm down." Aunt Maggie said. I sighed. Aunt Maggie to the rescue again. God I love that woman. "I mean, it's not like she did a bad job. No one died, there's only a few thousand dollars in property damage, and all the demons are back in Hell. All in all I say she did a damn good job." She said. Uncle Sam nodded.

_I've been everywhere,_

"You threw a minivan through a roof," Jessica said. "Yeah that's a _great_ job in my book mm, hm." I slapped her arm.

"Look ya little preteen brat I'd like to see you take out about a hund-"

"Is Caitlyn in trouble or not?" Matthew asked. Seven year olds. No-o-sy-y. Mom sighed and gave Dad a pleading look. Dad shook his head at her. And she stepped toward him, whispering something in his ear. I watched his stern expression change. His brow unfurled, his jaw unclenched. Slowly, a smile crept across his face. It was a happy one, but it was the happy one that made me wanna hurl.

_And still I'm standing tall._

"Ohohkay," Dad said, almost giggling. I shuddered.

"Aw gross." I said. Mom glanced around, then looked at me.

"Alright you're not in trouble," She said. "But you and I are gonna have a long talk, after you go out tonight."

_I've seen a million faces, and I rocked them all. Cause I'm a cowboy,_

"Whoa, whoa, whoa where's she goin'?" Dad asked. Jessica giggled. Matthew looked confused. Uncle Sam and Aunt Maggie tried to look innocent.

_On a steel horse I ride._

"Dean," Mom said in the same pleading voice. "Caitlyn has…a date." Dad's jaw clenched again and he squeezed the .45 in his hand as tight as he could.

"You wanna run that by me again?" He asked through gritted teeth. My eyes grew and I shrunk back, letting Mom handle this one.

"She has a date."

"With a guy?!" Dad yelled. I winced. Aunt Maggie giggled.

"No with a woman yes a guy!" Mom yelled. "Now look Dean, your daughter is sixteen years old, she is old enough to go on a date. Now at seven o'clock tonight you are gonna let her do exactly that, understand?"

_I'm wanted, dead or alive. Wanted, dead or alive._

Dad glared at my mother. "Lauren Nicole, my baby girl is not goin anywhere with some guy, do you here me?" He asked harshly.

"And what are you going to do about it?" Mom asked, placing her hands firmly on her hips. I already knew how this argument would end, but it was funny to see Dad try.

"I'll tell ya what I'm gonna do about it and my word is final do you here me?" Dad said. I winced. Wrong thing to say to Mom.

"Oh, I hear you Dean Winchester. And I hope you realize after what you just said you're spending the rest of the month on the couch?" She said defiantly. Dad, who had been standing straight, his arms folded, definitely trying to stand his ground, wilted a little.

_I'm a cowboy, I got the night on my side_

"Alright," He mumbled, sort of pouting. Like Matthew did when he didn't get his way. "She can go on…out. But I have a few conditions." He added. Uncle Sam groaned.

"Dean, please, be reasonable." He said. Aunt Maggie nodded. I swear, if it wasn't for them I'd be homeschooled and trained to be a nun.

"I get to be there when this _boy_ gets to our house. And it's under my circumstances got it?"

"I think I can live with that." Mom said. Dad smiled triumphantly and turned back toward the car. Mom gestured for me to follow her and I bowed my head, walking to the ancient vehicle. I was surprised the dinosaur still ran.

_I'm wanted, dead or alive._

The hinges creaked when I got in the backseat. I saw Aunt Maggie ushering the kids into the tight fitting Ferrari, Jessica in the barely existing back seat and Matthew in the middle, and she winked at me. I felt a little better. I honestly don't know what I did wrong. I looked around and saw the people I had saved starting to wake up, which as reason number 2 why we were leaving. Dad flicked on the radio, as usual, ancient music to go with the ancient car. He turned the key in the ignition and the car roared to life. Although it was old, it still sounded badass. Mom got inside and Dad peeled out before she had shut the door. I glanced at my watch and stifled a gasp. I only had an hour to get ready.

And I'd had a long day of getting bitched at about saving people's lives tomorrow.

_Wanted, dead or alive._

--Send me feedback! Had ya goin' for a second there huh? Tell me if you liked it!--


	14. Daddy

14

I couldn't argue with Lauren, I never could. Nor could I ever win but, that was beside the point. We'd been together for eighteen years now. And it felt like we'd just gotten married yesterday. She had some gray in her hair now, so did I, but I never loved her more. And I couldn't help but smile as I watched her carry the overflowing laundry basket to the laundry room, humming the latest hit from Rascal Flatts. Some bands had stayed on top, others had flopped. Kelley Pickler, whoo, sad story.

Lauren walked back into the room, sweeping a piece of her long brown hair behind her ear, bending down and straightening the pillows on the couch. I just stared at her, speechless just by looking at her. She glanced up and saw me gawking. She blushed.

"What?" She said. I shook my head. She started to walk past me and I wrapped my arm around her waist, pulling her around to face me.

"What's your deal tonight?" She asked softly. I gently pulled her face to mine, pressing my lips to hers and swiftly pulled away.

"Nothin'," I said. "Have I ever told you I love you?" I asked. She laughed.

"Once or twice." She said.

I grinned and unraveled my arms from her waist. I watched her as she walked away fixing her hair and shirt.

"Caitlyn, it's ten 'til seven!" Lauren called. I felt my grin turn to a scowl, my face getting hot.

My daughter, my sweet baby girl that wasn't quite a baby anymore, was going on a date with some hormonal teenager. A sixteen year old boy. Probably had a fast car, leather jacket, bad boy attitude…Oh God what if he's like me?! I shuddered at the thought. My Caity-Bug being alone, in a car with a younger version of me. The thought made me want to puke and pass out at the same time. But, I had a plan. The Dad ace in the hole. Scare the holy hell out of the kid so he _knows_ exactly what you'll do to him if he tries _anything._

"Dean?" Sam said behind me. I turned, watching Jessica and Matthew chase each other around the living room. "You know if you kill this kid you'll go to prison right?" He said. I laughed lightly and nodded.

"Sammy if this ass-hole does something for me to commit murder, I'll…I'll-"

"Easy tiger." Maggie said, walking swiftly from the hall to the kitchen where Lauren was.

"Easy tiger," I mocked at her back. Sam shook his head.

"Forty-four years old and you still act like your three." He said. Lauren walked into the living room with two glasses of juice for the kids.

"Hey, I _like _his immaturity." She defended. I grinned.

_Ding-dong._

I glared toward the door and tensed. Maggie giggled with her children. Sam's eyes grew and he took a few steps back. Lauren put her hands on my shoulders and gave me a stern look. I flexed my jaw and gave her no response. She shook her head and walked toward the front door.

"No, Baby don't trouble yourself," I said. "I'll get it." Lauren gave me a wary glance and backed away. I reached for the doorknob but she grabbed my arm.

"Dean Don't-You-Make-Me-Say-Your-Middle-Name Winchester, give it." She said, holding out her hand.

_Ding-Dong_

Impatient little shit, I thought savagely. I reached inside my shirt and pulled out my .22 and handed it to her.

"I wasn't born last night, give me the other one." I groaned and pulled the .45 from my jeans waistband, placing it in her outstretched hand. "And the other one." She said, sounding bored. I handed her the other gun of the same Caliber from my pant leg. "And the knife." She said. I sighed and my shoulder slumped. I handed her the Bowie knife.

"Alright, I'm clean." I said. I turned and opened the door, right as the kid was reaching toward the doorbell again.

Oh God I was right. Hair gelled to a T, leather jacket, and a smirk that I had only seen in the mirror on his face. I wanted to scream, I wanted to punch him, and I wanted lock my daughter in a tower somewhere and never let another boy, or man see her again.

"I'm uh, here to pick up Caitlyn." He said. I clenched my fists and tried not to break my teeth.

Lauren came back from the, um, storage closet, and froze behind me.

"You must be Drew," She said, a fake smile stretching across her face. Drew nodded, his all to familiar grin set deep in his face.

"Come on in kid," I said through gritted teeth. He waltzed in, I gestured toward the living room and he walked away.

Lauren squeezed my shoulder. "You put the fear of God in this kid." She whispered. I grinned.

Sam and Maggie had abandoned the living room, as had the kids, due to bribery I'm sure. Drew was sitting on the couch, gazing around the house, a sort of amused look on his face. I sat down in the armchair a few feet away from the couch, letting Full-Dad mode kick in.

"So," I said, trying desperately to keep my voice even and the blood out of my face. "Drew right?" I said. He nodded. "You into cars?" I asked.

"Oh yeah." Drew said with a broad grin.

"What kinda car you got?" I asked, knowing I would _hate_ the answer.

"'68 black Camaro." He said, grin turning proud. I felt my stomach flip. Dad's worst nightmare coming true, sitting on my couch, in my house, getting ready to leave with my daughter. Definitely time to take some precautions.

"Nice," I lied. I reached down next to the chair, where there was a small stack of newspapers and magazines, the clean kind, and sifted around. I found the two things I was looking for and lifted the shot gun and cleaning cloth out, resting the gun in my lap. Drew's eyes grew, and so did the smug smile on my face.

"This doesn't bother you does it?" I asked. Drew shook his head and cleared his throat.

"No, nope not at all." He said, shifting in his seat. I nodded, but on the inside there wasn't enough room on my face for the smile I had.

"That's good. I don't clean I'll forget. Ya know how that goes." I laughed easily, and he faked one. I kept myself composed, and decided to continue with the small talk.

"So, Drew, what's your driving record look like?" I asked. Drew's eyes were trained on the gun. Little did he know, the thing wasn't loaded. But that was information I thought I'd just keep to myself.

"Uh, I, I got a few…speeding tickets," He said timidly. I nodded, making sure to add a barely readable "Mm hm." "But that's it!" He added quickly. I just nodded again.

Drew's eyes kept flicking toward the stairs, but I knew Caity, she wouldn't be down any time soon.

"You don't speed with girls in the car do ya?" I asked. He shook his head vigorously.

"Nope, no sir." He said, once again at lightning speed. The corners of my mouth twitched. I glanced over my shoulder for a brief second to see brown hair whip behind the door frame. God I love that woman.

"Good. I'd sure hate to hear about a girl bein' hurt in a car wreck because of a reckless driver." I said calmly. "I don't know what I'd do if something happened to Caity because of someone being irresponsible." God I sounded just like those Dad's on TV, especially with the gun laying across my lap. Drew swallowed. "I trust that won't be the case tonight." I said evenly.

He shook his head so hard I thought it might detach itself. "No, absolutely not." I smiled and nodded.

"Good. Cause, ya know she is my only daughter. And a beautiful girl, right?" I tested.

"Yes, absolutely." Drew said. Oh, lord he fell for it. Now _that's_ funny.

"So you've noticed?" I asked Drew nodded. "How _much_ have you noticed?" I asked. I saw Drew's heart pop into his throat, his mouth opened to say something but no words seemed able to come out.

"No, no, no not like that Mr. Winchester," He stammered. "I mean yes she's hot but I don't just like her for her body." He said it all in a frantic rush. I stifled a laugh when I saw the sweat beads on his forehead.

"Good." I repeated. Lauren appeared from the stairs and Drew and I stood.

"She'll be down in just a minute." She said stiffly. I nodded and walked toward the stairs as she disappeared into the kitchen where Maggie and my niece and nephew were. I noticed Drew wasn't with me. Rather than turning around, I gestured for him to follow me with my hand over my shoulder. He stumbled in his effort to hurry and I tried not to laugh.

"You gotta job Drew?" I asked.

"Yeah," He answered quickly. "I'm a, uh, a mechanic." I nodded and set the shot gun down next to the door. Drew relaxed a little. We heard noise on the stairs and Drew's eyes lit up, hoping that he might not have to stay in the same room with me anymore.

"Oh," My little brother said. "You the guy taking my niece out?" Drew's shoulders drooped. His expression rang loud and clear: "Oh God not another one." I smiled, my face unseen because he was behind me. Sam kept a cool head, his face calm. Drew swallowed and nodded. "Mm hmm." Sam nodded.

"What kind of car do you drive, um, Drew right?"

"A '68 black Camaro and yeah, it's Drew." Sam nodded again.

"How's your driving record?" Sam asked.

"I have a couple speeding tickets but-"

"Speeding tickets? You were alone when you got them weren't you?" Sam asked. Drew whined quietly.

"Alright, alright, knock it off." Maggie said, swiftly walking through the hall and into the downstairs bathroom. I planned on ignoring her; Sam may be whipped by the Puerto Rican blooded smart-ass of the family but I wasn't. I snorted a silent as if. Lauren leaned out of the kitchen and glared at me.

Damn. If it was any other woman on the planet that was telling me what to do, I'd be able to resist. I sighed and glanced at Sam, who had already given into what his wife had said, and sighed.

"So where're you takin' my daughter?" I asked, turning to face Drew.

"Movies." He said carefully. I winced internally.

I opened my mouth to say something but was interrupted by a "He-hem" from the top of the stairs. I looked up, and there was no way I was looking at my daughter. Nobody who looked that gorgeous could be my baby girl. The one that used to run around this house with a Kool-Aid mustache, begging me to go kill the spider in her room. I swallowed and blinked a few times.

Caity looked at Sam, then at Drew, then at me.

"Dad…" Caity whined. "You promised." I shrugged.

"I'm a parent, my word is meaningless." I said with a smirk. She rolled her eyes. She glanced sideways at Sam and pursed her lips but turned back to Drew.

"Ready Caity?" Drew asked, hope in his voice. I sneered, something that could only be described as a growl deep in my chest. Caity looked at me, her eyes grew, and she looked at Drew and smiled.

"Don't call me that Drew." She said. She looked at me and her grin turned meek. "Bye Daddy." She said. Ugh, when she called me Daddy, man I melt like butter and can't be mad. I smiled back at her. Lauren came around the corner.

"Oh, you leaving so soon?" She asked. Caity nodded. "Oh, well, have fun." She said brightly.

"Alright Drew be back by te- nine, thirty." I said.

"Daaddy," Caity whined. I bit my lip.

"Ten thirty." I resolved. Drew nodded vigorously. I stepped forward and put my hand on his shoulder. Caity opened her mouth to protest but Lauren stopped her. "Drew," I said quietly. "If you do anything, _anything_ to make Caity uncomfortable in any way, I'll kill you. Understand?" Drew swallowed, his face white, and nodded. I smiled. "Good." Drew opened the door for Caity once I stepped back and closed it behind him. I turned and faced Lauren. She walked toward me, anger in her eyes. Jeez I do what she asks me too and I get in trouble. But instead of a lecture, she wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me.

"What was that for?" I asked a few seconds later. Lauren grinned at me.

"I love you. And thanks for not killing the kid on the doorstep." She said.

"No problem." I said.

"Am I the only one that saw…similarities between Drew and somebody else we know?"

"Sammy if you wanna keep all those teeth I suggest you shut the hell up." I threatened.

"Dean," Lauren said, drawing my full attention back to her. "Be nice." I stared at her for a moment, then kissed her again. And again. And again.

"Ew." Sam said. I ignored him and pulled back from Lauren.

"You know," I said softly, brushing my nose against her cheek. "We do have a few hours _alone!_" I hinted at Sam. "Maybe you and I could…" I was back to whispering again. Lauren bit her lip.

"Okay kids, time to go." Sam said, wrapping his arm around Jessica, who was giggling and Matthew, who looked very confused.

"What's Jess laughing at?" Matthew asked.

"Nothing!" Maggie said. Jessica giggled louder. "Great, Dean I'm gonna kill you. Jessica, you're bein a nun." I lifted Lauren up in my arms and headed toward the stairs. I looked into those endless blue eyes and kissed her again.

Did I mention how much I love her?

--How's the flash forward workin' for ya? Let me know!--


	15. The Hundred Billionth Time

--Sam's turn!!--

15

"Good night Jessica!" I yelled at the ceiling. The music that was on turned down, but not off. "Ugh, I'm gonna go up there and rip her stereo right out of the wall." I said. Maggie squeezed my shoulder and smiled at me.

"Aw, c'mon Sammy, it's Friday." She said. I sighed.

"Stop doing that." I said. She cocked her head to one side.

"Stop what honey?" She asked. I leaned forward and wrapped my arm around her waist.

"Making me listen to you when you make that face." I grinned. She smiled back and pecked me on the cheek. I pushed her hair out of her face and left my hand there. Those brown eyes I had fallen in love with all those years ago looked back at me. Unlike some marriages, we were happy to be with each other. Did we fight? Yeah, just nothing to get us divorced about. She got pregnant with Jessica about a month after we got married. I got to decide on the name, and Maggie agreed that naming her Jessica would be alright and she had no problem in the jealousy department. And the result on her birth certificate, Jessica Iris Winchester. Five years later, Matthew, after Maggie's Dad, Jonathon Winchester came into the picture.

We'd already moved into the house by then. Twenty years ago, I never thought me and Dean would be neighbors. Hell I didn't think we'd have families. To be honest about it, I thought we'd be dead.

But we weren't. No matter how many times we'd looked death in the face we were still alive. The apocalypse that had been predicted had obviously been stopped. Thank God Dean stopped me from…well, it could have been a lot worse I'll just leave it at that.

I could have killed the whole planet, and everybody in it. Including the people I love. Including my wife. Something had taken me over back then. Something terrible that led the demons in a war, with my brother on the other side and…

And I don't want to talk about it.

"Whatcha thinkin' about?" Maggie asked. I shook my head.

"Ancient history." I said quietly. She stroked my cheek.

"Sam, how many times have we gone over this? That wasn't your fault," She said. "You didn't ask to turn into that."

"I didn't try to stop it either." I whispered. "If anything I encouraged it."

She grabbed my face in her hands and looked directly into my eyes.

"Sam stop it," She said firmly. "It's over, done with. Don't you talk like that in front me ever again." I looked away from her when she let me go.

"It, it's just not something I can let go." I mumbled.

One second she was staring at me, the next she was crushing her lips to mine, her arms wrapped around my neck, her fingers tangled in my hair.

"What was that for?" I asked, trying to regain my balance.

"To shut your ass up." She said. She kissed me again, more intense than the last time. I wrapped my arms around her waist, starting to lie down on top of her. I ran my fingers through her hair, my other hand grabbing her thigh and pulling it up next to my hip. Her hands traveled down my torso and started pulling my shirt up. She started kissing my neck and I leaned over the arm of the couch and flicked the lamp off. I started kissing her again, her hands in a vice in my hair.

"Mommy, Daddy…" A small voice said. I froze for a second, I closed my eyes and stifled a groan. I sat up and sat on the couch. Maggie started fixing her hair in an attempt to look nonchalant. She turned the lamp on and stared at our son, who was rubbing his eyes and squinted at the bright light.

"What's a matter Sweetie?" Maggie asked.

"I had a bad dream." Matthew whined. I frowned. I glanced at Maggie and nodded, signaling Dad would handle this one.

"Alright buddy, c'mon." I said, lifting him up in my arms and carrying him over toward the kitchen. Chocolate milk, God's miracle cure. I sat him down on the kitchen counter in front of the fridge.

"So, what was your dream about?" I asked gently. Matthew looked up at me, tears in his eyes. I set the milk on the counter and instantly bent down in front of him, Dad mode kicking in. "Hey, hey, easy Buddy. It's alright," I ruffled his hair and smiled reassuringly. "It's okay. Tell Daddy what's wrong," He didn't answer. "I can't fix it if I don't know what's wrong." Matthew sighed.

"You, you and Mommy, and Uncle Dean, and Aunt Lauren went to go hunt sometin scary an', an' you didn't come back." He cried. I hugged him tight, letting him cry into my chest.

"Hey, hey Matt, Buddy it's alright," I soothed. "Listen, listen to me." I pulled back away from him, wiping the tears off of his face. "You listen okay?" He nodded. "Mommy, Uncle Dean, Aunt Lauren, me, we aren't going _anywhere_. We are never,_ never,_ going to leave you. You and your sister. Okay? I promise," I said. Matt nodded. He didn't look assured. "Hey, I'll make you a deal here and now, I promise I'll live 'til I'm 300. That sound alright to you?" I asked. He grinned and nodded. I turned back cabinets and grabbed two glasses, setting them down on the counter.

"So did you see what Caitlyn did tonight?" I said with awe in my voice. Matthew nodded, the tears drying on his face and disappeared from his eyes.

"Yeah," He said eagerly. "She, she made dose big fire towers and dey were all _pshhh!_" I grinned at his exploding sound affect. "And an' den dose demons ran and ran like lil girls an' den she made dem go out of da people and den dey went away in da ground!" He said. I handed him his glass and he tilted it back. He had a brown mustache when he set it back down. I took a drink and smiled at him. A few minutes later when his glass was empty and he was almost done recounting his tale of seeing Caitlyn in action, he yawned, a big yawn. I smiled and scooped him up.

He was still talking when he fell asleep on my shoulder. I headed up the stairs toward his room, knowing when his eyelids fell and didn't come back open. I laid him down in his bed and pulled his covers up to his chin. I pushed his bangs out of his face and sat on the bed next to him.

He definitely looked like me. His hair was the same color, same curls wrapped around his head at this age. He acted like me too. He was tall already, and pencil thin. I was more into Thundercats than Spider Man but, ya know.

Jessica was as beautiful as her mother. Her long dark hair filled with so many colors it was dazzling, and she had Maggie's eyes too. She was like Maggie's twin, and they both drove each other nuts.

"Everything okay?" Maggie whispered. I looked up at her and smiled.

"Yeah," I said.

"What was his dream about?" She asked. I frowned.

"I'll tell ya downstairs." I said, gesturing for her to leave.

I shut the door quietly behind me and went down the stairs.

"He dreamed you, me, Dean, Lauren, we all went on a hunt and died." I said quietly. Maggie's jaw dropped open and her hand instantly clapped over it.

"Oh…" She breathed quietly. "Aw Sweetie," She was talking about Matt, not me.

"Maggs we knew this conversation would come especially because we told him so early." I said. She nodded.

"I know Sammy but, God I didn't know he was this scared." She said, her voice breaking. I hugged her to me and she buried her face in my shirt.

"Maggie they're bound to worry about it. I mean, when you were that young-"

"Sam when I was that young I had no _idea_ what my parents were doing. I didn't know until after they died what the hell hunting _was, _remember? You had no idea either." I said nothing for a moment.

"Dean did," I said softly. "Dean's known since he was six. We told Matthew after his seventh birthday at least. We talked about this Maggie." I said. She nodded.

"I know," She said, her voice muffled by my shirt. "I know it's better for them to know now, so they don't get hurt but…do you think we ruined their childhood?" She asked.

"Maggie, look at me," I said, lifting her chin. "They're gonna be fine. It _is_ better for them to know now than later. What if they have to find out the hard way? Or by the time they do, what if we aren't there and something happens. What if they find out too late?" She nodded. "But you know what? We've got each other. We've got two of the most beautiful kids on Earth. We've got the weirdest neighbors in the world, and right now there's no huge danger that could kill us all in a second. We've got it great Maggs."

Slowly, a smile crept across her face. "You're right." She said. "Maybe I worry too much." She said. I nodded.

"Just a little." I shrugged. She grinned at me and pecked me on the cheek; I wrapped my arms around her to stop her from pulling away. "Where were we before our little visitor interrupted?" I asked. She turned around and shut the lamp off again. She pulled on my shirt and laid down. "Right about here." She said. I shook my head and grabbed her leg, pulling it next to my hip again.

"No, I think it was here." I said, grinning.

"Yep, I think you're right." She nodded. I started kissing her again, thanking God for the hundred-billionth time for this life.


	16. You Save Me

--Have fun boys and girls!--

16

You Save Me:

Kenny Chesney

_Every now and then, I get a little lost._

I tossed and turned, watching the images dance across my eyes for the thousandth time. No escape, even after I got out, there was no escape. It had been so many years now, yet the memories were fresh in my mind like it had happened yesterday. I tried to make it go away, some nights I actually could. Some nights I would wake up when I told myself this was all a dream and I wasn't there anymore.

Tonight, it wasn't like that. Tonight I was trapped in the one place there was no escape from. Tonight, my mind was my prison.

_My strings all get tangled, my wires all get crossed._

I tried not to scream, which was impossible in this situation. Agony nearly blinded me, I couldn't move, I couldn't breathe. The red that surrounded me disappeared for moments at a time when this white hot anguish turned white in front of my eyes. Please, somebody get me the hell out of here.

_Every now and then, I'm right up on the edge._

I opened my eyes and sat up, my breath heavy and deep. I glanced down a Lauren, who was asleep beside me. At least I hadn't waked her up, tonight. I shut my eyes and shook my head, trying to get the images out. Sixteen years. Sixteen years and it hadn't even dimmed. God not even a little. Any minute detail, any and every scream of that had happened in that four months, or, forty years or whatever, hadn't faded even a little. I shuddered. Lauren stirred next to me and her eyes slowly opened. She looked at me and sat up, worry in her tired eyes.

"I'm okay," I said instantly, knowing that she wouldn't believe me.

_Dangling my toes out over the ledge_

"Again?" She asked. I nodded.

"I'm alright." I assured. She touched my face, gently stroking my cheek. She pulled back a second later, a new expression on her face. Damn it, she cheated. Stupid psychic crap. After Caity turned two her powers had changed for the last time. Her levitation, telekinesis and memory giving had disappeared; Kris said it was a temporary thing that was evolving into something else, and it had been since she was three. Now, my Girl was a mind reader, and a damn good one, which was my current predicament.

"Dean, you're shaking." Oh yeah, there was that other give away. "I don't consider that okay." I didn't look at her. I noticed after a minute I was hiding my face from her in the darkness. I couldn't look into those eyes right now, she'd see right through me.

I just thank God you're here

"Dean, it's not your fault," She said gently. I winced. Please, Lauren please don't. "I've been telling you for fifteen years now. There's…I, you, Dean…" She stammered. I swallowed. It still made me do this too. I felt the salt water prick at the corners of my eyes. But, I was an expert at this. Emotions on, emotions off. Clap on, clap off. That simple. When she wasn't looking at me that way. I took a deep, uneven breath. "Baby," She whispered, wrapping her arms around me. I shut my eyes and pressed my face next to hers. God, I needed her so much. If anything ever happened to her, I don't know what I'd do. Suddenly she gasped and pulled away from me, her hand on her chest. "Dean!" She choked.

"Baby, Baby what's wrong?" I asked, frantic. Not a heart attack, please God. She looked at me, a tear sliding down her cheek.

"You," She gasped. "Y-your heart. So much…Gohod." She bowed her head and started to sob. I felt a pained expression work its way onto my face. I was hurting her, and I hadn't touched her. I gathered her into my arms and squeezed, pushing her as close to me as possible. She buried her head in my chest and cried. This wasn't the first time this had happened.

"I'm sorry Lauren." I whispered. She shook her head and lightly kissed my chest.

_Cause when I'm a bullet shot out of a gun_

**

I looked up at him, feeling his heart throb again. I was making him feel this way. God, why couldn't I have just kept these stupid tears back? Because I loved him too much, and his pain had overwhelmed me. The tears started to dry as I pushed them back into their native spring. I smiled at him, silently assuring I was alright. I closed my eyes and rested on his warm body, listening to his heart beat. His cheek touched my forehead and I heard his thoughts in my head. Once I heard them, I cringed, then was infuriated.

"Damn it Dean!" I said, pulling away from him. "For once, _for once,_ would you just listen to me? Look, I'm fine, _you're _the one that…" I couldn't say it. I couldn't say you're the one that needs me right now. I know he did, and he knew that I knew that. So it was really irrelevant. Those green eyes locked into my own, so perfect. He closed his eyes and leaned forward, his flawless features smoothed. My eyes closed too, and I felt those glass like lips touch mine, his warm, chiseled body pressing against me. I ran my hand down his chest, shivering when his lips grazed my neck, kisses butterfly soft.

_When I'm a firecracker comin' undone_

I loved him so much it hurt. I didn't deserve him. I didn't deserve the insane amount of love he gave me back. Of all the women on the face of the Earth he could have, he picked me. For eighteen years I had wondered why, and I guess I'd have to keep waiting for eighteen more. God he felt good. I felt the hunger in his touch, saw it in his eyes. He still needed me.

_When I'm a fugitive ready to run, all wild eyed and crazy_

**

This wasn't something I thought I'd ever get. I never thought me and Sam would stay so close. I never thought I'd have a house of my own. I never thought I'd have a kid. And never, even when I could hope and pray forever that I might be so lucky, I never thought I'd have Lauren. But I did, by some grace of God I had her, and no one could take her away from me. She was mine. And right now I was being selfish.

She saved me from myself so many times I had lost count. And when there was absolutely no light at the end of any tunnel, she'd always tell me it would be okay.

_No matter where my reckless soul takes me_

Like I said, she saved me.

_Baby you save me._

My fingers braided themselves into her hair and held her to me, cradling her face in my hand, tracing her lips with my thumb. She stared back at me in the semi darkness, her soft hand on my neck. I kissed her softly, leaving my face close enough so our lips still grazed each other. Her arms wrapped around my shoulders. I wrapped my arms around her waist and laid down, pulling her with me.

_It's hard lovin' a man, that's got a gypsy's soul. I'm not sure how you do it, I'm not sure how you know_

I pulled her close to me. Gazing into those sky blue eyes. I brushed her hair out of her face and continued to caress her cheek. She closed her eyes and leaned into my hand, sighing.

We'd been through so much.

That mess on our first date. Then Lindsay. Then I lost my memory. I almost lost her because of that. She almost lost her mind when that psycho Edward kidnapped me and Sam. That was one time I wish I could forget.

_I'm not sure how you do it. I'm not sure how you know. The perfect thing to say, to save me from myself._

When Sam and I got turned into babies, man, that was just flat out weird. I thought bein' an adult was hard. Those siren bitches that…Never mind. Telling her I was going to hell. Getting married; putting her through hell when that demon possessed me and put me in the hospital. Being away from her, not knowing where the hell she and Sam were when I was trapped outside while those creeps were trying to get money from Maggie. I still hate the woods because of that. Nutjob people that ran a closed community and sacrificed the residents, who were brainwashed. I was almost the next one too. Then we had our baby.

_You're the angel that believes in me, like nobody else. And I thank God you do_

Then it was Annie and her whores that almost ate me. Bleh, she was so damn gross. And so effin' crazy. Then I died. I went to Hell and died. So did she for awhile. Angels, demons, the first attempt at an apocalypse, my baby girl saving the planet. Yeah, we'd had a hectic life. And she stayed with me on this crazy ride for this long. Maybe she was crazy too.

_Cause when I'm a bullet shot out of a gun. When I'm a firecracker comin undone_

**

I loved it when he stared at me like that. Like I was the best thing he'd ever seen.

"I love you Baby." I whispered. His passion poured from his lips when he kissed me, his grip tightening around me, pulling our bodies flush.

_When I'm a fugitive ready to run, all wild eyed and crazy. No matter where my reckless soul takes me, baby you save me._

"I love you too." He breathed. He kissed me again, and it was the most amazing thing I had ever felt in my life. I don't even know how to explain it. This fiery electricity jumped through me and I wanted to be even closer than I was to him, though there was no way it was possible. The desire I felt at that moment was more powerful than an atom bomb, and his was twice that.

_I know I don't tell you nearly enough, I couldn't live on day without your love._

I tangled my fingers in his hair, feeling him everywhere. I couldn't get away from him. His touch, his voice, the smell of his skin that only belonged to him. And I didn't want to get away from it.

_When I'm a ship tossed around on the waves, up on a highwire that's ready to break._

"Dean," I gasped, unable to think of anything else to say. His lips went down my jaw line and onto my neck, slowly moving to the hollow behind my ear. I felt this buzzing in my head. I felt his heart pound in his chest underneath mine. He bit the lobe of my ear just right and I shivered. I pulled away from him and kissed his chest.

"Huh," He breathed. "Baby." I pushed my lips onto his and trailed my fingers up his body. "Mmm." He moaned.

_When I've had just about all I can take baby you, baby you save me_

He was on top of me in a second, I felt my head spin when his lips crept down my chest, my stomach, and back up again. His lips crushed to mine, a new ferocity in his touch as he pulled our bodies against each other's again. I jumped and bit back a moan when he bit my neck.

_Cause when I'm a bullet shot out of a gun_

**

God, now I know why I lover her so damn much. She knew what I needed, when I needed it. How I needed her to touch me. She was so damn beautiful. She bit my neck and this amazing amount of pleasure jumped through me. I moaned again, unable to stop myself.

_When I'm a firecracker comin undone_

If I died at this particular second I don't think I'd object to it. I'd die happy. I'd die with her. My life wasn't perfect, of course it wasn't no one's is, but it was so damn close. I loved her, so, so, so much.

My train of thought was interrupted when she kissed me with her perfect lips.

_When I'm a fugitive ready to run, all wild eyes and crazy_

Right now everything was fine. Tomorrow, well you never know. So much could happen in five minutes already, but hey, who cares about the future. Right here was what's important.

_No matter where my reckless soul takes me_

We had forever. I had forever to be with her. I wish I could have found her earlier in this life. Everyday went by so fast…But tonight, like I said, was important right now. I kissed her and let all the love I had gush out in that one kiss.

And now, before things get too good, I say goodnight to you.

I have to get back to my happily ever after.

Bye.

**THE **

**END**

--There ya go guys the end of my series. Lauren and Maggie had a good run right? I want to thank all of you that has followed this series from the beginning and loved it as much as I have. So send me feedback and tell me how you liked the last chapter of the last fic! I would love to know!! God bless you all and I'll c u around. I've already got another fic lined up called "What's In The Box". Hopefully I'll see you there! Bye!!


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